i don't blog

Upper canada chorus - newest chorister

2012-01-05T11:04:00.002-05:00

Kenzie auditioned for the Upper Canada Children's Chorus today. She had to go in the the audition room herself where she did vocal exercises, learned part of a new piece, and sung a prepared song (Oh Canada) for the choir director and one of the teachers. After that I was invited into the room to talk to everyone. They said that she had a beautiful voice, could hit the high notes and that she responded really well to instruction. At first I thought they were being kind and were going to "let her down easy". They told her right there that she was accepted into the choir, that she was "would fit beautifully into the choir" and could choose her rehearsal location.

I am so proud of her. I read that over 500 students auditioned in the fall and they only accepted 160. Since this is mid-season, I was told beforehand that they did not have many spots available, so i feel that its an even bigger accomplishment. I would have been just as proud if she didn't make it (given how shy she is this was quite a big deal for her). She was so nervous - by the time I got into the room she was so flushed and "blotchy" because of nerves, but I guess she did great. she is so proud of herself which makes me just so so so happy. I am sorry for bragging. But I am just so pleased for her. I know that she is sensitive and shy but she has been working so hard this year at facing her fears (tough swimming lessons, going to PRIDE, girl guides, trying out for the volleyball team etc) that it is especially rewarding to see her so pleased and proud of herself.

try blogging again

2011-12-29T15:19:00.002-05:00

It's December 29th, 2011. One of the things I would like to do in the upcoming year is blog again. I haven’t been very good at it lately. I’m not sure why – maybe because I’ve been making updates in facebook. But I get the feeling that I am one of those annoying people that post way too much on facebook so I will try to post mainly here and less on facebook (except to respond to others).

So.. to bring you up to speed. Things here are relatively good. I’ve been feeling depressed lately though. Not exactly sure why. Could be…. my weight, money issues, Kenz’s social struggles, or Seb’s constant challenges at school. But to be honest, normally those things wouldn’t bring me down as much as I am…. I truly think that I have major depression issue. But last time I talked to my doctor about it she prescribed me some different medication and I cried for 3 weeks until I stopped taking the new meds.

So…. I am hoping that 2012 is a great year and a turning point. Here are a few things I would like to accomplish over the next year.

1. Get my depression under control – beat it.
2. Lose weight so that I am a “healthy” weight.
3. Become a stricter, more consistent parent.
4. Spend more time with CJ (just him and me).
5. Give the kids healthier meals.
6. Spend more time with the kids just playing.
7. Get our financial situation in order so I don’t stress so much about money.

I also want to focus more on the things that I am lucky to have and less on things that shouldn’t matter so much. So, to start, here is a list of things I am grateful for.

1. A wonderful loving husband.
2. Two great kids who are kind, loving, smart, funny and healthy.
3. A job that I enjoy with people I like and respect.
4. An extended family that is kind and loving.
5. A beautiful house that keep us warm and dry and comfortable and safe.
6. Wonderful friends.

That’s it for today….. Here’s to a great 2012!

Meghan

2011-07-17T15:30:00.003-04:00

Yay - Meghan is home. Kenzie's friend, Meghan, was gone for a couple weeks on vacation. Kenzie missed her so much. On Friday I told Kenz that Meghan would be home either Saturday or Sunday. I think she must have called Meghan at least 10 time yesterday. She also rode her bike to Meghan's house about 6 times in the last 24 hours. The last time she called was at about noon today... no answer, but Kenz left a message. I was lieing on my bed at about 12:30 pm when the phone rang. I heard Kenzie pick it up and then SCREAM!!!! Meghan was home and she was so excited. Meghan would be here in 5 minutes and the best friends would be reunited. But first kenzie had to run to the mailbox to see if the letter Meghan had sent her had arrived (unfortunately it hadn't). But luckily the card Kenzie made for Meghan was ready....

I can't explain how happy I feel for these two girls. They have such a wonderful friendship. The kind where they can tell each other anything and know the other won't judge or abuse their trust. They can spend hours together playing games, doing crafts or just watching TV and they never fight or get sick of each other. It makes me so happy that kenz has such a great friend (especially when I see other kids taking her for granted or being mean to her).

I think I am almost as glad as Kenz that Meghan is home. and to top it off they will be going to camp together tomorrow (and all week). how fun!

It's July 2011

2011-07-14T15:42:00.006-04:00

Well once again it’s been way too long since I last wrote. My main excuse is work. I’m really busy now (its proposal time) and when I get home from the office, the last thing I feel like doing is typing on the computer some more. Things here are going fine. We are almost done the second full week of kid’s summer vacations. The summer holidays always go by too fast. I love summer and the more relaxed feel to our days. I love that we don’t have to get up and rush around in the morning to get the kids to school. In fact today I went for a walk with Bev at 6:30, and when I got home I watered the plants and puttered around outside for a bit. By the time I was done showering and getting ready for work it was 8:30.

Today I am working from the downtown Toronto office. The kids and I picked up Bernadette and Jordana on the way and I dropped them all off at Toronto island to meet up with Omi. They are there now and I am waiting to hear from mum when they are ready to come back.

I’m having a really hard time focusing n work today. Think I might be a bit burnt out – you know when you work at 100% for several days in a row… eventually you crash. That’s how I feel today.

I keep checking my email because Nikki sent me the password to the second set of pics she took of Jordana and Mackenzie last weekend. There are some super cute ones – especially of Jordana. I sent Andrea and Chris the access info and I want to know what they think. They have GOT to think they are awesome.

So we are off on our first summer vacation in 2 weeks – going to the Eckhart House in Prince Edward County. I am really looking forward to that. We will be sharing the house with Andrea and her family. I plan on spending most of my time at the beach with the kids, sitting in a lawn chair and reading a book. At least that’s my plan. After that we are back for a week and then leave to go camping. That should be fun too. Only problem is that my friend Helen doesn’t seem to be speaking to me right now. I honestly don’t know what I did, but it is really stressing me out. Her family will be camping right beside us. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and everyone will get along.

Other than that, what else is new? Let's see - about 3 montsh ago, Sandy had kittens. We were playing with fire letting her out before she was spayed so it shouldnt have been a surprise but to be honest it kind of was. The kittens were SUPER cute and Sandy is an awesome mom. Here are some pics.

We ended up keeping 2 of the kittens - Cloudy and Spotty. They were my favourites - so fluffy. and they are cute and funny and we all love them lots.

In any case, here are some photos from recently so we remember what the kids looked like at 6-1/2 and 8-1/2.

random

2011-02-15T21:01:00.004-05:00

its mid February... that depressing time of year when I just can't wait for spring.

I won’t say I'm feeling exactly depressed. More just bored. I'm bored at work, bored at home (I love my family dearly but we seem to lack the ability to come up with fun stuff to do together these days), and we don’t have much of a social life right now cause all our friends are so busy with kids' sports and school.

kinda old pic - from last fall, but i love it

We have all been struggling with health issues lately. First we all got chest colds... but really bad ones. I think CJ and I have probably used up half our annual vacation days in the last month between us being home sick and staying home with sick kids. I think (knock on wood) that we are almost out of the worst... but now CJ has an ear infection which is causing him A LOT of grief. So i hope the antibiotics will kick in soon.

Kenz and Seb are doing pretty good these days. They both seem to have settled into school - and, at least for the rest of this year, I expect things to continue to go smoothly. I still think Seb is bored but he's not complaining as much as he used to. We are considering private schools for him next year (since the public school gifted program doesn't start till grade 4). They are doing some things for him at his school (like giving him grade 2 writing and some extra challenging math stuff) so we'll see if that helps to challenge him. and kenzie (who also tested gifted) will have the choice to stay where she is or to go to the "gifted" public school next year. Unfortunately I think that right now, if I were to ask her, she'd make the decision purely on whether or not her friends will be at the school. In any case, I am kinda avoiding thinking about it - or at least making any decisions - right now. at the moment they like their school, they have friends and are relatively comfortable so that is all I can hope for.

Hmmmm…. what else…. Seb has officially quit hockey. It just became too much of a battle. I just rented a violin and will start lessons next week. Kenzie had a breakthrough this week with swimming. Since her bad experience at the public swimming lesson a few months back (where her bitch of an instructor yelled at her and scared her so much) so she never wanted to go in the pool again…. Well this week she has a swimming lesson through the school. She was so apprehensive and scared before going – tears, anxiety etc. But she was brave and she went and she had a GREAT time. So I was very proud of her but also so pleased that hopefully now she can start enjoying swimming again like she used to.

So... what else? I really have nothing to complain about. I AM however looking forward to some nicer weather and longer days where we can spend more time outside - winters in Canada can become kinda isolating if you don’t make a conscious effort to get out of the house. I guess that’s it for my update. Hopefully I will start blogging more often again. I’ve missed it kinda…

In any case, thought I'd post some "somewhat recent" photos....

Seb and Lily - still 2 peas in a pod

kenzie and jordana at omi's house

the people I adore

Sebby

2010-11-19T19:13:00.005-05:00

So, we had Seb tested by a psychologist last week. The reason I booked the appointment is because his teacher at school was saying that he was having some behavior issues and getting frustrated with his classmates etc. He would get mad while doing group activities and act up. I asked how he was doing academically and she said “oh, he’s an average student. I have no concerns with his school work”.

It made me a bit frustrated cause I know he’s smart and better than an average student. I mean we can’t keep his stimulated enough these days at home. He is constantly building things from lego and other types of kits. Like this

and this

These are kits for much older kids and he does them all by himself just by following the directions in the kits. Here's a little video of him explaining one of his creations...

In any case, I started thinking that his behavior issues could be because he’s so friggin bored at school. Well, we got the results of his assessment yesterday. Looks like he’s a pretty smart kid. His results were:

1. Verbal IQ: very superior 99th percentile IQ=137
2. Non-Verbal IQ: very superior 99.9th percentile IQ=147
3. Processing speed: very superior 98th percentile IQ=130

Overall IQ: very superior 99.9th percentile IQ=146

so of course I am super excited and proud of our smarty pants. But then the difficult thing is to figure out what to do about schooling and his behaviour. He's obviously under-performing in school and he is probably bored and frustrated and tuning out cause he is not interested. He is getting a reputation for bad behaviour. We have a meeting with his teacher next week and I am going to see what she thinks we can do. The problem is that the "gifted" stream in public school system doesn't start until grade 4. We are having issues with him already in grade 1. I don’t know if we can wait 3 years to get him in a program where he is more challenged. On the other hand we also don't really have $20,000 extra to spend on private school every year.

Oh well... CJ and I will chat this weekend. This is one of the better problems to have I guess.

kenzie skating video

2010-10-11T21:43:00.000-04:00

Life is....

2010-10-09T17:32:00.002-04:00

Life is ….

That’s as far as I got. What do I think of life these days? It is very full. It is tiring. It is stressful. I find myself so focused on all the millions of things on my “to do” list that I have almost forgotten what it’s like to relax and enjoy life. And there is so much to enjoy. I am so lucky in so many ways, and I think I need to spend more time thinking about these and appreciating them. Let’s think of a typical day.

These days I usually wake up by my alarm going off at 5:20 am. I sit up in bed and see the two adorable children sleeping in our bed because they both fell asleep there the night before while we were watching TV together. Often Koda – our 82 lb black lab – is also on the bed. CJ is usually not in the bed – he’s either downstairs working (he still works in the middle of the night several days a week) or sleeping in the guest room because he is tired of trying to sleep in the 6” sliver of bed that the kids leave him. Anyhow, I drag myself out of bed, brush my teeth and go downstairs to make coffee. Koda, in her no so graceful way, usually comes flying down behind me almost knocking me down in her haste to get to the bottom of the stairs first. Then I make coffee, put on my socks and running shows while Koda sits right in front of me waiting anxiously to go for a walk. By 5:40, I am usually out the door with Koda and my coffee in a wonderful coffee mum that sue turned me onto (from Costco – it has a no leak lid, that, with the press of a button, opens up so you can drink). Bev and I started walking together every morning about 4 months ago. We are still doing it now. We have a nice 5-6 km route that we take everyday. In the summer it was light out when I left the house. These days, it’s still dark out when I get home. But, regardless, I have come to love our walks. Through these daily walks, not only have I become stronger and I’m sure healthier, but Bev and I have developed a wonderful friendship. We walk and talk for an hour every day. We share our insecurities, worries, hopes, and successes with each other. And through it all we laugh… (like today when I went to throw the bag of dog poop into the woods and had a very bad throw that resulted in the bag going straight up in the air and almost landing on my head on the way down) .

I usually get home shortly before 7:00 and get a cup of coffee for CJ (if he’s sleeping). Sometimes he’ll be awake when I get home, and he will be getting lunches for the kids prepared. This year we have taken a bit of a different approach to kid’s lunches. We’ve started giving them hot lunch almost every day. Heating up leftovers in the microwave is actually a lot easier than making a sandwich (and cutting off the crusts etc). the kids seem to like hot lunches better than sandwiches and I like that they are actually getting a lunch with some nutrition.
Anyhow – I digress. I won’t talk any more about our mornings because they can be quite stressful – trying to get the kids fed, dressed, teeth & hair brushed and off to school in about an hour. They are not familiar with the concept of having to be somewhere at a certain time.

However – they are both doing great at school. Kenzie has a WONDERFUL teacher this year who is just perfect for her. Very warm and kind and patient. I really think she will thrive this year. I see it in her work already. She is a lot less fearful of writing and is writing page-long stories – something that she would never have done last year – or if so, it would have taken her days and days.

Both kids are doing great socially. Kenzie has a group of friends whom she loves and fights with on a daily basis. Her social life is so emotional that I can hardly bear to watch or listen to… “I never get to play with Zoe…. Alisa is upset because I am playing with Zoe all the time… Zoe is upset because I am playing with Alisa so much…. Can I have a sleep-over with Sophie… Megan and I are BFF’s now … I need to spend some time with Kristi this weekend because she misses me….” HA!!! But all in all she is good and happy and has good friends and has fun.

Seb is different. Last year he cried when Kenzie got invited to birthday parties because he was never invited (or so he said). But I think it was the parties and loot bags he was jealous of and not the friends, because honestly, he seems to be perfectly happy being by himself, and he doesn’t seek out friends or need friends in the same way that Kenzie does. Yet I am finding that kids are attracted to him. Well this year he has been invited to just as many, if not more birthday parties than the Boo. In fact right now Kenzie has one birthday invitation on the fridge and seb has 2. Especially the girls – they seem to really dig him – I think that growing up with an older sister has made him a bit more sensitive to girls feelings. He has had the same “girlfriend” now for over two years. Lily. They are so friggin cute together. He’s 2 months younger but about 8 inches taller. He loves to help her reach things that she can’t. And when he’s not being such a chivalrous gentleman he likes to chase her and be chased by her.

Seb also started hockey a few weeks ago. He is not playing games yet but goes to a skills practice every Saturday and Sunday morning with CJ. CJ has been going out on the ice and helping with the training. Seb is sort of middle of the pack right now in terms of skills, but I think he really loves the sport. He seems to love skate around holding the stick and shooting pucks at the net. It’s neat to watch him. What he lacks in skill he makes up for in determination. I have a feeling that by the end of this season he’ll be playing like a pro. I’m looking forward to watching him advance.

Let see… just realized that I started talking about an average day and then got sidetracked. Just to finish off that “typical day” line of thought.

- We drop the kids at school – they have fun
- CJ and I go to work where we both really like our jobs and the people we work with. I have learned that that is a pretty amazing thing to be able to say. There are many, many people out there who don’t like their jobs or co-workers so I am incredible grateful for the luck CJ and I have had in finding these companies/jobs.
- We come home and have dinner. Kids do their homework and then we watch TV (and there are so many great shows on right now like So You Think You Can dace, Survivor, Amazing race etc) and then fall into bed.

All in all it’s a pretty damn good life. We have love in our family. We have our health. He have the means to support ourselves and do fun things. I think I need to focus on all of these things more instead of going through life feeling “rushed’ and unappreciative. I am VERY THANKFUL for all I have. CJ, Kenzie and Seb – I love you with all my heart. You are my everything!

The mohawk

2010-08-02T09:05:00.002-04:00

Suggested to Seb yesterday that he get a haircut. Well he decided he wanted a real mohawk. So CJ gave him one. Unfortunately shortly after he got it he decided he didn't want anyone except CJ, Kenz and I to see him. We went to pick up his bike from the herzceghs but he hid behind their cars because he didnt want to be seen. We decided that he could go on hiding for the next 2 months so CJ had to shave off the hawk and now Seb just has a very short "summer cut". Luckily I got a few pictures of the hawk before it was cut off.

some things never change....

2010-07-08T14:51:00.004-04:00

2006

2010

water park fun

2010-07-04T16:12:00.006-04:00

I REALLY didnt want to go to the waterpark today but teh kids were really set on going so we went. Turned out to be pretty nice. Not busy at all and everyone had fun. I`ve had too much fun so i will just post some pics and leave it at that.

Everyone says that there are never pictures of me.... so here`s one from today :)

This roller coaster seemed like the most unsafe thing ever. I swear Seb was gonna lose his head... or at least get whip lash. But he and Isaac LOVED it and wanted to ride it over and over again. They had a lot of fun. :)

P.E. I.

2010-07-03T17:48:00.006-04:00

This year, Andrea invited the kids and I, and mum, to come on a family vacation with her and Chris and Jordana and Isaac. CJ decided that he would stay home because a) he doesn't have much vacation and b) this will allow him to take a few days off to hang out with Sarah when she comes. So I graciously accepted Andrea's generous offer. Its been prett busy at work lately so I was more than ready for a few days off.

So yesterday morning we got up super early and CJ took us to the airport. The kids were SO excited. They have both been on planes before but not since they were very young. I don't think Seb remembered being on a plane so he was exceptionally excited. He alkmost exploded from excitment when the plane took off.

The flight was fairly uneventful and the drive from the airport to the rental house also went well. The house that Andrea rented is beautiful. It's a typical PEI (big) home with a wrap around porch, a huge property with lots of space to run, and plenty of beds and bedrooms for everyone to be comfortable.

The kitchen is also beautiful.

We are now coming to the end of day two and its been pretty enjoyable so far.

Mum and I got up early today to go for a walk. I need to keep up my walks even when I am away from hoem. I like starting my day that way - makes me happy. (side note: I drove the same route later today and we actially walked about 6.5 km). So we ended up walking along the dirt road that the house is on. It was beautiful. There were fields and fields of flowers, potatos and other "farmy" stuff on both sides of the road. On one side we were also able to see the bay with the beautiful blue water. The road is also lined with wild lupinias - they are GORGEOUS!

Anyhow... so after breakfast, Andrea and I took the three older kids to the beach that's just down the road (about 4 miles). It's not the best beach but it is close and convenient and as far as the kids are concerned, if there's sand and water, they are happy. We spent a few hours there before coming home and having lunch.

After lunch Kenz and I escaped upstairs and took a luxurious afternoon nap. What could be better??!!

Seb and Isaac are addicted to the computer and they play really nicely together.

Kenzie and Isaac also play well together but are a bit more like siblings with a love-hate relationship.

Kenzie is also in heaven with Jordana around because now she has a live doll to play with :) and Jordana just rules the roost and everyone loves catering to her every whim and need, but she is so darn cute that no one minds at all.

In any case, it's been a good start to a very much anticipated vactaion and so far it hasn't disappointed. Tomorrow we will either... visit a different beach (sunny day) or amusement park (cloudy) or Anne of Avolea Village (rainy day)... we'll see.

little update

2010-06-08T17:40:00.002-04:00

Three more weeks till summer vacation. I can’t wait. I am tired of the demands of the kids’ school like – rushing in the morning to be there on time, homework, forms, milk money, field trips etc. It really feels like summer lately. The weather has been warm and we have enjoyed some summertime adventures (eating outside, going to the beach, gardening etc). The garden is starting to look great. I can’t wait for the lilies to bloom. Here are some pics of last weekend - Andrea, Jordana and 'the Ingrams' went to the Beach. Water was cold but the kids didnt seem to mind.

Andrea has invited the kids and I for a week in PEI for the first week of July. I have already asked for the vacation time off and so now I am counting down the days.

CJ and I are busy as anything at work again. Poor CJ is still working many nights every week. I feel so bad for him and don’t understand how he can function with so little sleep. I really like my job and have a lot of fun. I like the fact that I am not fully immersed in a project right now. Its a lot more relaxing and I have been able to focus on BD which is more fun (well right now I think it is).

I am getting there in terms of camps for the kids. Kenzie is booked for a couple weeks of horse camp, my mum is taking the kids for two weeks, we are camping for a week, Sarah is coming to visit for a week (CJ and I will be off). So that leave one week for Kenzie that I need to fill up and 3 for Seb. I think I’ll put them in the local Camp at their school for one week, Seb can do dinosaur camp for a week and that leave one week left for me to fill for him.

Speaking of riding – Kenzie is really enjoying it and has improved a lot. She can also tack up the horse completely by herself now and she can post/trot. The biggest difference is how comfortable she is around the horses now. She loves it and I love watching her.

the finished product

2010-05-01T19:31:00.000-04:00

a rainy Saturday afternoon

2010-05-01T12:41:00.003-04:00

Wow – a peaceful moment. These have been few and far between lately. The kids are going through some weird phases lately. They aren’t exactly being bad – although they have their moments – but they are certainly being trying. Kenzie seems like she has the hormones of an adolescent. She is SO sensitive these days - one second she’s happy, the next she’s crying, the next she’s storming off in a huff stamping her feet and slamming her door. I honestly don’t know what’s gotten into her. She’s also gone to the office at school and said she was sick so that I’d come pick her up. I don’t know if something is bothering her at school. But if it is, she’s not telling me. It makes it very hard. Sebby is the typical bratty/sweet little brother. He knows exactly which buttons to press to make Kenzie lose her mind. But then he’ll turn around do do something so sweet. He is also very empathetic when it comes to Kenzie – if she’s hurt or sad, often Seb will give her a hug and start crying himself.

Anyhow – today is Saturday. It’s noon. Kenzie, Zoe (who slept over last night) and Seb are downstairs playing and/or watching a movie. To be honest I don`t care what they are doing – they are quiet and not screaming at each other or crying. So whatever it is, I`m okay with it. I spent the morning cleaning our pigsty of a house. Andrea and family are coming over today – so I had to clean but now I`m glad I did. House looks liveable again – (still have to do the floors). It’s a rainy Saturday and CJ is in the garage building a climbing wall for the kids to play on. I bet they will love it when it`s done. The wall is the next step in changing our deck into a playset. Last weekend he attached a slide to the deck. Kids love it.

The climbing wall is going in that spot behind the slide to help block off the garbage bins etc we have stored there:

Kenzie is really enjoying riding lessons. I am so glad. It gives her something that is just hers. Since they are private lessons she has no one to compare herself to and just has herself to make proud. She also loves the horses and is really getting a lot more self confidence. I`ve talked to a few other moms there. I find that the kids who are doing riding lessons fall into one of 3 categories – they either a) come from privileged families where horseback riding is just part of life (those are the kids who show up to the barn in their private school uniforms, who have ponies themselves and who typically have 3-4 lessons a wee – their moms typically arrive in full riding gear with their hair all done up even though they’re not riding themselves), or b) the kids have been obsessed with horses or ponies since they could walk, or c) they are shy, self-conscious kids whose parents thought riding would be a good way to help build their confidence. Regardless – all teh kids seem to love being there – including Kenz so i am happy for her. Here are some pics from last week.

Kenzie learing to trot... still a bit bouncy.

Life in the happy lane

2010-04-18T14:45:00.002-04:00

Well, I can honestly say that our life is not boring. We always do a bunch of fun stuff on the weekends and this week was no exception. On Friday I picked the kids up from school at 2:30. We took Zoe home with us too. The kids all played together nicely. When CJ got home from work I met Andrea for a game of squash. I haven’t played squash in about 15 years... and it showed. Andrea beat me 5 games out of 6. But we did have a lot of fun and I am looking forward to playing again soon. I would like to play with CJ sometime too. I found out that our local community centre has squash courts and we can play there for only about $5 per person. Good deal if you ask me.

Zoe ended up staying over and having a sleep over which was nice for Kenzie. On Saturday morning the girls decided to set up a spa in the kids’ bathroom. They invited me to come in for some services so I got a wonderful facial (face mask, tea bags on the eyes, moisturizer etc). After Zoe left the 4 of us all took some wonderful Saturday afternoon naps. I LOVE afternoon naps. They are just so luxurious. It was good too, because we ended up meeting Brian and Jenna for some evening bowling (we took Sophia with us) afterwards. It was a ton of fun. I always forget how fun bowling is. Anyways, we had a lot of good laughs. It was fun to see everyone put their own spin on bowling style. I was most impressed by conservative Brian doing a backward somersault on the floor after he got a strike. That was awesome!

This morning was wonderful... CJ got up early and went biking with the boys. I woke up when he left and did a bit of work on my computer in bed while Seb dozed beside me (he is awfully cute when he is all sleepy and snugly). After CJ got back we all got up and had a lazy breakfast of croissants and coffee (adults). We then played a bit of the Hannah Montana game and then decided to go for a hike. We went for a walk on a nice trail near our house. It was mostly a wonderful adventure with only a couple minor incidents (Seb slipped and got a soaker in the creek up to his knee, Kenzie tripped and fell and Seb tripped and fell). A few tears in each case and then they were back to running and giggling together... CJ and I walked along holding hands and enjoying the spring weather.

I love these guys

Life is good.

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T08:49:00.002-04:00

Its been a good week. Unfortunately CJ is feeling like crap with a cold and Kenzie seems under the weather too. I'm feeling lazy and dont want to write alot but I do want to document all the great things about this week:

- got some good news at work
- really enjoying my coworkers lately
- got our tax rebate - CJ bought me a new labtop (now I can upload all my pictures and blog again
- the weather has been gorgeous!

- had (Good) friday off and we took the kids and Kenzie's friend Alisa to the zoo. Met Andrea there too.

my wonderful handsome hubby

- got my hair and eyebrows done yesterday
- kids played - a lot!!

- enjoyed watching the kids play on their new scooters
- kids woke up at 5:00 today ready to look for eggs... we held them off till 6:15. They had a blast finding all the chocolate eggs.

p.s. Sandy has started following us everywhere we go. she came to the park with us yesteday.

happy

2010-03-28T16:04:00.004-04:00

well here I am sitting in the living room, sideways in the armchair, Kenzie and Courtney are doing some Ukrainian Easter eggs decorating, Sebby is asleep on the couch and CJ is wandering around waiting for his egg dye to take. CJ made some bread in the breadmaker today so the house smells amazing!

Life is good and I am happy.

Seems that I was in a bit of a slump over the last few months. I guess I was depressed. felt like life was getting the better of me and that I was just a passenger on a boat on some rough seas. But that period seems to be over. Don't know what happened to change things... could be that I finished a big project and a HUGE amount of stress was lifted.... could be that we had some AMAZING weather a couple weeks ago over March Break and I had the week off so the kids and I had a great week together playing outside and soaking up the sun... could be that I stumbled upon some books/tapes about positivity.... not only the far out, self-help kinda books, but also one on the "science of positivity". Regardless of the reason, I am feeling good again.

This weekend was very fun. First of all, on Friday, I got some great news at the office which just had me beaming from ear to ear. A great way to start the weekend. Then yesterday Kenzie and I met Omi downtown and Kenz and I took a Ukrainian Easter egg decorating class. I used to do this as a kid and I have been waiting until Kenzie was old enough to do it. I involves hot wax and candles, so its not something I wanted her to do when she was really young. But she's old enough now. She did great yesterday and she seems to be as addicted as I was as a kid. She is working on her third egg right now.

The class was held in a little fabric shop on Queen St W in Toronto. The shop holds several classes (mostly sewing) and has a neat little set up. I fell in love with the shop. the big windows letting in all the natural light, the colours of the fabrics, the old wooden floors, and the resident dog (whose name I've already forgotten). It was great for taking pictures. So here are a few....

Fabrics on the wall. Pretty.

Puppy

colours!!

The shaggy haired dude was the teacher. he was pretty cool. Here he was showing us all some pictures of different egg designs on his computer. After that is was time to get started.

These are the main tools - beeswax and a kistka

first you drawing the design on the egg

then with the kistka you cover everything you want to keep white with wax. Once that is done you dip the egg in the first dye (e.f. yellow). then use the kistka to colour in what you want yellow etc. teh last dye is using a very dark one. Usually black.

here we are working away intently.

when you are done you take the wax off by holding the egg by a candle and wiping off the wax. The instructor did Kenzie's for her.

Kenzie and her finished egg.

my finished egg.

Here's another egg I did this morning.

not doing a good job

2010-01-24T20:46:00.002-05:00

I'm not doing a good job of setting my priorities. I miss my family. I feel like I'm a guest in their lives. Was at the office again today, worked late 3 nights last week (came home after the kids were asleep) and I have a crazy 3 weeks ahead of me to get this damn project finalized. I wish we had some money so the 4 of us could go on vacation somewhere at the end of this.... somewhere warm. The cold, wet winter is getting to me. You'd think that with all the time and effort CJ and I spend at our jobs that we'd be able to take a family vacation (beside camping in the summer).

I'm not happy with myself. Not happy at all right now. I haven't given CJ the time, love or attention that he deserves. I just put Seb to bed. I was sad when he fell asleep because I missed him. I looked at his sweet little face lying beside me and realized how quickly he's growing. Another couple years before his innocent nature will be gone. I see it with Kenzie already. She is becoming hardened a bit by kids at school. She can be moody and sarcastic and full of attitude.

I just want to get through the next 3 weeks and then take some time off. I want to play "stay at home mom" (at least for a few days). I want to take the kids to school, pick them up for lunch, participate in their school activities. I want to pick them up from school so they don't have to go to the after-school program. I want to have the house clean and tidy and a delicious, nutrious dinner on the table when CJ comes home. I want to sit beside Kenzie and help her with her homework when she isn't exhausted from a 12 hour day. I want to sit with Sebby and give him my full attention when he reads, instead of beinging distracted by a million other things.

I don't want to feel stressed, tired, distracted. I want to feel calm, happy, safe, connected to my family. I want that for my family too. They deserve it.

Last post in 2009

2009-12-29T10:10:00.002-05:00

A few days have past since I last blogged. I’ve thought about it often but never updated for a number of reasons – a) I got really focused on and swamped with work, b) my company installed new firewalls which made it so that I couldn’t access flickr and I realized that for me, half the fun of blogging is including pictures that I can look back upon later, and c) I guess I’ve been in a bit of a funk and didn’t feel that I had anything happy/fun to write about.

So, what has changed?! To be honest, probably not enough. I am still in a bit of a funk. I am overweight and tired a lot of the time. That, in and of itself, probably has a lot to do with my mood. But I’ve also been off work for over a week now and have realized that all the time, anxiety and stress is not worth it. Yes, I love the adrenaline rush of meeting insane targets, of bringing in work, of people believing in me enough to give me more and more responsibility. But really, what’s the point?

I’ve done some soul-searching over the last few days and also had some good conversations with CJ, with my mum, with CJ’s mum. CJ and I are both very similar in that we work our butts off for the smallest sign of recognition/appreciation. When really, the people I want that recognition and appreciation from the most are the ones that I am neglecting when I spend 60 hours a week working. The ones who I want to do a good job for are CJ and the kids. They are the ones who love me and care about me (regardless of whether I meet my project targets or not, regardless of what I look like). They are the ones I love with all my heart and who I miss like crazy when I am away from. They are the ones who make me laugh and smile and feel happy. CJ’s mom made a good comment yesterday. We were chatting in the car and she commented on how people these days work so hard and so much. She noted that in other countries (besides Canada and the US) people work less and enjoy life more. Its true we are working ourselves into the grave. Everyone says that the people who still have jobs now in this recession are the lucky ones, but really we are the ones that are left doing the work of 2 or more people for the salary of one (or less).

I noticed over the last few days that the kids have become very good at entertaining themselves even when I am home (sitting in front of the computer answering emails). Seb can spend hours playing his DS and Kenzie watches way too much TV. When I ask them if they want to play a game with me, they are actually torn, because it is so out of their normal routine, its almost like they don’t know how to. How sad is that?!

This is pretty depressing. But I think I needed to experience this. I always wanted to be really successful at work – to be really important. I think that over the last year I have realized what the price of that is, and its not a price I want to pay. I would rather have a 9-5 job and spend more time and energy on CJ, Mackenzie and Sebastian. My ego will be okay. CJ’s mum made a good point yesterday. She said that “we are all really good at something”. This is true. That comment is a great equalizer and kind of takes the ego out of the equation.

So, my challenge now is to figure out how I get the right balance back into my life. I am pretty sure that I can carve out whatever role I want to take on at work. I will have to make some sacrifices – I might not be at the table for all the executive meetings, I might not be called upon to participate in the strategic decision making, I probably won’t get performance awards and huge bonuses, but what I will get will make up for it.

For example, a couple weeks ago I took a day off work to help in Mackenzie’s classroom when they did a Scientists in the Classroom “simple machines” event. I led one of the stations that was focused on “wheels”. I taught them some basic information and then with every group that came around each child made a cardboard car with wheels and then decorated it. I was actually kinda nervous about going because I didn’t want to embarrass Kenzie. I didn’t want her friends to say that her mom was fat or dumb or any other negative comment. But you know what? She was SO FRIGGIN HAPPY that I was there. I am getting teary thinking about it. The look on her face when I arrived and started “teaching” made me feel like a million bucks. She was so proud and wanted to be right beside me so that all her friends knew that I was her mom. She would come by each rotation and give me a big smile and introduce me to all her friends. I am pretty sure I am going to remember that day for the rest of my life.

Another example is the other night when CJ and I were going to bed. We were just chatting and talking about a how funny it would be to take a backscratcher to work. You could walk around the office with this thing in your back pocket. It could come in really handy for other things to like using it as a pointer in meetings. Okay so a silly conversation but we laughed really hard. It felt so good to laugh. These days CJ and I have so friggin little time together. It’s a rush in the morning getting ready for work, getting the kids ready, lunches made etc. It’s a rush after work getting dinner made, homework done, kids to bed etc. Many days we don’t even have 5 minutes to talk to each other.

I know it’s a cliché, but I don’t want to wake up 20 years from now and realize that I hardly know my husband and that the kids have grown up and moved out of the house.

I don’t want to say this is a resolution because resolutions always get broken. But hopefully this will be a turning point in my life where I finally get my priorities straight. Wish me luck. If anyone besides me reads this blog and you have any advice for me, please share. I need some help on putting these thoughts into action.

And with that I will leave you with some pictures of what is most important to me.

hi there, Land of the Living!

2009-10-25T15:16:00.002-04:00

Well. I'm back... or at least on my way back. Last week I was sick with the flu. Doctor said it was probably H1N1 because that is the most prevalent strain these days. They are no longer "testing" for the flu here - at least not unless you are hospitalized - which luckily I wasn't. I just felt like $h*t for the last 8 days. I stayed home almost all week - half day on Monday, all day Tuesday, half day on Wednesday, all day Thursday and all day Friday. The problem was that I had a whole bunch of Community Advisory Meetings scheduled for this week. I got some co-workers to cover for me for 2 of the 3, but I had to do one of the meetings on Wednesday night. I stayed as far away from the people there and presented from the other side of the room. I am feeling bad that I did it. I hope I didn't get anyone sick. I felt like my hands were tied, though... like I would be letting down my company and the client and even the meeting attendees if I didn't go, cause they would have had to cancel the meeting. It's a tough situation to be in. I felt obligated to go, I felt like crap and didn't want to, and now I feel like a jerk because I exposed people to the virus. It's like a no win situation.

In any case, the rest of the week I spent in bed. Some days were worse than others (e.g. Tuesday the light coming through the window blinds - which were closed - was making my head hurt even more) but basically I lay in bed getting up 2 or 3 times throughout the day to get some water or a cold cloth for my head. On Friday I was so miserable that I took my mothers advise and went to see the doctor. The doctor said I probably had H1N1 and told me to get my chest X-rayed cause my oxygen levels were low. So yesterday I went for X-rays and the doc said that I have pneumonia and hooked me up with puffers and some antibiotics.

So, now I am feeling much better - still tired, with practically no voice (from coughing so much), and I have a pulled muscle in my neck (again from coughing) which hurts like hell.... but I am in eth best mood. I am out of bed and doing things.

I'm on a mission to get our house germ free. We have stocked up on hand sanitizer, lysoled all the hard surfaces, and today we bought a Dyson vacuum and it totally rocks. I can't believe how much dirt and hair and gross stuff it took out for our carpets.

The problem is that I think we might be too late. CJ is feeling like crap now and seems to be going downhill fast (I'm so sorry honey!), Kenzie was really feeling under the weather yesterday - she was tired and coughing and had a fever. Today, she is coughing a bit but seems to be feeling a bit better - fingers crossed that she can avoid getting the full blown flu.

And I will be back at work tomorrow. I am scared at how much work I will have to catch up on. But at least I am no longer feeling like I'm on my death bed (I'm such a drama queen).

Hair to die for

2009-10-10T15:08:00.003-04:00

This is a picture of Jordana, my 17 month old neice, just moments after she woke up from her nap. What I would do for hair like that!

And here's a pic of Kenzie, Jordana and my sister Andrea.

quick update

2009-09-26T15:17:00.004-04:00

This weekend I have 3 days off – not only 3 days off – but 3 days with no possible way I can do any work. You see we are going through a major IT system change over (we were acquired by another company a few weeks ago so we are moving onto their systems). So we were told to leave all laptops, and blackberries in our office on Thursday night and we have no access to them until 7:00 am Monday morning. I have to admit that I was going through a bit of withdrawal yesterday. But today I am doing great. It’s nice not to be thinking “I should be doing some work now”. This morning the kids and I took Koda for a walk – we were on a mission to find the perfect colour to paint our front door and garage doors. I didn’t find the perfect colour but I did get some ideas. On the way, we walked by the Woocks house and picked up Jenna. She came home with us and she and Kenzie took Sandy outside and played in the tent (I put a tent up in the front yard yesterday).

Then they came inside and watched a bit of TV while Sandy took a nap on Jenna. (by the way, that is the remnants of a tattoo on Jenna's cheek, not dirt).

After that we decided to go to Michael’s and stock up on a few more crafts since Michael’s is having a big sale. It was fun. We got a ton of fun stuff super cheap. There’s not much better than that!

So CJ spent his morning driving to Oakville and back. My mum’s friends were giving away some old furniture. These are the same people that previously gave us a beautiful oak bench. This time they gave us an oak dining table and a matching hutch. So CJ took the van and picked everything up. They wouldn’t accept any money so … we didn’t want to offend them by arguing – ha! Anyhow. I was really pleasantly surprised when the kids and I got home from our shopping trip. The table is perfect for our little “craft area”. We used to have a small round table there but this one fits much better and the matching hutch is perfect for all our craft stuff. I love it when people want to give away stuff. So here it is….

Here’s the hutch…

And inside..

And in the drawer…

In other news… Sandy is still adorable as ever. She loves to play with Kenzie’s little braid.

Seb is doing well and loves to play on the computer. I am probably biased as his mom, but I gotta say he is so friggin smart…. This week he asked me to explain to him what is outside the universe and outside the galaxy etc. Try explaining a 4th and 5th dimension to a 4 year old. Then yesterday he was trying to get his head around the concept of a point – i.e. the corner of a cube. He said to me “so how does it work – at the very tip is there a small circle cause it can’t be a point at the very tip”… Talk about making my head spin.

Last Day of Summer 2009

2009-09-21T10:36:00.001-04:00

So… today is the last day of the summer. That is just crazy to me. Yesterday was a beautiful day but there was something in the air that just reminded me of the fall – maybe it was a smell, or the fact that the morning was really cool and crisp before it got warm In any case, I am just not ready for the summer to end. Yesterday I spent a long time tending to the plants out front. We haven’t had much rain lately and everything is really dry. I gave all the plants a good soaking, did some dead-heading and fertilized the planters. This morning they already looked a lot better and healthier. Here are some pics of Seb helping me….

It was a weird weekend. It went by way too fast. I was in the office for about 6 hours on Saturday so that probably has something to do with the fact that I feel jipped (sp?). I just brought in a really big project last week. I am super thrilled about that but I am also completely overwhelmed. I can barely keep up with the work I have let alone take on more. It is so much work and I don’t know how we are going to get it all done by the deadline. I have been totally stressed out about that and having a hard time sleeping at night. So my plan for this week is to focus and get the ball rolling and try to hand off as much of the work as possible.

In any case, yesterday I got to spend some time just hanging out with the kids. We went to the park and I took some pics of our monkeys….

My grumpster

The kids are doing pretty well. Kenzie seems to be struggling a bit at school. Not necessarily with the school work – more of a confidence thing. She is in a class with only seven other grade 2 kids and the rest are grade 3s. She seems really insecure about school stuff (like a presentation she has to do for the class in two weeks). She is also sitting at a “cube” with a kid who was in her class last year and he is known for being a bit of a bully and he seems to be getting on her case. So my heart goes out to her and I wish I could make everything better for her. I am going to call her teacher this week and see if we can have a chat.

Seb seems to be doing well. We got a note home from his teacher last week. It said “Sebastian threw out his applesauce because he doesn’t like it”. For some reason this note just cracks me up. I stuck it up on our fridge. I can just picture him having a little “discussion” with his teacher and stamping his foot when she told him to eat his applesauce and him saying “I hate applesauce”. Ugh… I pity his teacher. Although she seems to be a seasoned vet and I am sure Seb has met his match in her.

In other news… we have a new family member. Her name is Sandy. She’s a funny little cat. Was the runt of her litter, but seems to hold her own in our household. She weighs 0.46kg (1 lbs) and Koda (75lbs) is scared of her and runs to her crate whenever Sandy hisses at her. She seems to “bounce” everywhere she goes and has the cutest little meow and the loudest purr ever!

the last month

2009-09-08T14:14:00.001-04:00

It’s been a long time since I blogged. I guess I fell off the wagon there for a while. The month of August just kinda flew by. We had a good time when we went camping. The weather was good but we had a rain shower or two – which I am actually really happy about since we rented a pop-up trailer and the rain made it that much more worthwhile and appreciated. Here are a few pictures.

Kenzie and Soph in front of the pop-up

Breakfast

Inside watching a movie on a rainy afternoon

Playing with lego and eating pop-corn inside

Looking for frogs

Seb. Kenzie, Rachel, Eryn and Jenna practicing the splits

The gang on the beach

Some of the kids

CJ the scrabble shark

Guitar playing

Pretty girls

Snuggles after a long day

By the way – a pop-up is totally the way to go when camping. I think both CJ and I are in agreement that if we can afford one next year we’d like to get one.

CJ had a very healthy August. He stopped drinking, has really gotten into mountain biking, is running again and is all about eating healthy. I just need some of that to rub off on me now.

One Saturday a couple weeks ago Kenzie and I went shopping together. We ended up at Michaels. I had a $200 gift certificate to spend. I bought myself some scrapbooking paper and then Kenzie and I went crazy picking up all kinds of craft supplies for the remaining $$. Kenzie LOVES crafts and she is so artistic. So she and her friends have been having a ton of fun doing lots of neat craft stuff lately.

While Kenzie loves doing crafts, Seb is into building things. He is quite good at it too. He totally knows how to follow directions on these toys where you build a car or truck or airplane etc. I picked up a new game/kit for him the other day and he has been spending a lot of time making stuff with all the pieces. Very cool.

The worst part of August was that both cats died (within the last week). Well, to be honest, we had to put Miranda down. She has been peeing in our house now for over a year. We have put up with it for so long because I just couldn’t bring myself to have her put down. But then she started pooing randomly in different parts of the house – under a bed, in theh middle of the floor. It just couldn’t go on. We had her tested a few months ago for bladder infection/UTI, etc. and it wasn’t that. We tried the kitty prozac (clomicalm) for a while but that only worked for a couple weeks and Miranda was completely out of it when she took it. In any case, I took her in and it was very humane and she didn’t suffer so that is a small blessing (she was 17).

Then there was Miro. She hasn’t been looking very well for a couple weeks. The last couple days she basically stayed under our bed. I gave her water thinking that maybe she was missing Miranda. But then on Saturday night she was dry heaving and yesterday morning she looked terrible (kind of limp and like she was drooling). CJ brought her to the emergency clinic and the doctor examined her and found a lump. While CJ was on the phone with me and we were talking about what to do (it was going to cost between $1000 and $1500 to have her stay over night and have tests done), the vet came to get him and told him that she was in the process of dying and won’t make it through the day. Apparently, the vet gave her some anesthetic to “move the process on faster” and CJ was with her when she died. I totally wasn’t expecting that or ready for it.

I was awake a lot last night – couldn’t sleep. I was pretty upset about the cats. Mostly, I was wondering if Miro had been in pain or uncomfortable for a long time and I just didn’t notice. I hope that wasn’t the case. The kids took it well – I think Kenzie was more upset when Miranda “died” than when we told her about Miro – which is surprising cause Miro and Kenzie were close. Miro slept on her bed/pillow with here every night from the time we moved here. In any case…. It’ll get easier (I hope).

Today was the kids’ first day of school.

They were both very nervous yesterday and this morning but everything went well in the morning. This year we didn’t find out who their teachers were until this morning. (In the previous years we found out about a week before the start of school). Seb knows a bunch of kids in his class – including his “girlfriend” and two little boys from our street who he loves playing with. He’s been put in a class with a new kindergarten teacher. She taught Sophie a couple years ago and Helen says that she is AMAZING!. So that makes me happy.

Kenzie knows a few (maybe 3 or 4) kids in her class – although she’s in a different class than her best friend, Zoe. They put her in a 2/3 split though which has me a bit nervous. She is still supposed to get the grade 2 curriculum, but being in a split class where most of the kids are in grade 3 seems like it might be challenging for her. A) She will be up to two years younger than some of the kids in her class (she’s only 6 now and will be in class with some kids who turned 8 at the beginning of this year), and B) she already is very hesitant and insecure when it comes to her reading. The good thing is that she knows her new teacher (she was the choir director last year) and Kenzie seems to adore her. Sue said that she’s a great teacher – very calm and organized – which is exactly the kind of teacher that Kenzie needs. So we will see how it goes. I am anxious to pick the kiddo up this afternoon to see how their days went. I might even leave the office early and pick them up when school ends (no YMCA) so they can tell me all about it.

Road Rage / Neighbour issue

2009-08-09T14:51:00.002-04:00

About a week ago some guy thought I cut him off (really - he was driving twice the speed limit) so within seconds of me turning in front of him (with plenty of room) he was on my tail, then pulled out, drove around me and almost hit me while cutting back in front of me. This was followed by us both rolling down our windows and him giving me the bird followed by a bunch of 4 letter words and some very sexist comments about womnen drivers (his wife/girlfriend was sitting beside him). Then just as I was about to respond, the light turned green and he squealed away (before I could say a word).

okay... so I wrote down his license plate #, tried to explpain "road rage" to the 4 kids in the car and carried on.

Fast forward to 2 days ago. I'm riding my bike down our street with the kids when I see a car that looks just like Mr. Rage's car. I check the license plate and it looks familiar - go home and check and sure enough it's HIS!!!. Turns out this fuckwad is my f'in neighbour. We live on a small cul de sac and he lives in one of the 20 houses on our street.

So, what would you do? I want to go have a little chat with him. I need closure. I need to tell his what a f'in ass he is. CJ says I should let it go. what would you do???

Feeling Happy

2009-08-08T13:31:00.002-04:00

Life these days is feeling pretty good. It kinda feels like all the star are finally aligning.

• Kids are really enjoying the summer. I am glad we didn’t have them in full-day camp/daycare all summer. They love riding their two-wheelers (we are now past training wheels altogether in our house), playing street hockey, grounders at the park, chalk on the driveway, or just playing with little toys while being outside;

• We are all enjoying friendships with our neighbours - the kids love playing with all their friends on the street, and CJ and I really like hanging out on the street, talking to our neighbours. I love the fact that Seb and Kenzie can just go door to door asking if Matthew and Lucas, or Jacob and Jordan, or Olivia, or Zuhal and Adris can come out to play.

• CJ and I have started a new approach to parenting. We have started to be tougher on the kids but in a more patient and less reactive way, if that makes sense. So far (knock on wood) the kids have been reacting well. For example this morning Sebby brushed his teeth with no complaining, helped fill the bird feeders, and helped tidy his toys. Kenzie has done two loads of laundry, tidied the shoes and helped CJ fold laundry.

• I love the way our friendships here have growth into such relaxed, supportive and fun relationships. I love that the adults are all friends (the boys go mountain biking together, the ladies get mani’s and pedi’s together, we all watch movies together and love to get together at each others houses or out at a local pub etc)

• Work is going really well for both CJ and I. He just finished a huge project that he has been working on for other a year and is getting many commendations from around the company. I have had the opportunity to work with some great people in my company and to work on some very cool projects. I’m challenged and getting a lot of satisfaction. It’s a great place to be.

So all in all… I am happy. Life isn’t perfect - it never is. But I have very few complaints these days. I am not ready for the summer to end. We have another camping trip in a couple weeks that we are looking forward to. We even rented a pop-up trailer for this trip. I have a feeling we might just love it!

Last weekend it was CJ’s birthday weekend. It started off with Zoe sleeping over on Saturday night. First we were invited to Andrea’s for a bbq. We took Zoe with us and had a nice evening (despite the cousins fighting and egging each other on – ugh).

Cutie Jordana

CJ’s birthday cake

The kids were worn out from the day and ended up falling asleep pretty quickly. In the morning, CJ, Brian, and John went for an early morning mountain bike ride. When CJ came home the kids were super excited to celebrate CJ’s birthday . Here is a little video of the kids singing happy birthday. It all went great until Seb went to give CJ and hug and spilled hot coffee all overt the two of them.

Luckily they both recovered well and we were able to open CJ’s gifts outside. Sue and the girls were going for a run and stopped by on the way – they ended up hanging out with us instead and were there for CJ’s gift opening.

After playing outside for a few hours, Zoe was picked up, and the Ingram’s all came inside and had afternoon naps – LUXURY!! Shortly after waking up, we took the kids to Gay’s house and headed over to the Hunt Pub. We met up with Bev and John and Sue and Brian and enjoyed some appetizers and drinks to celebrate CJ’s b-day.

And to top off a fun evening we all came back to our house and watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall – a hilarious movie!!!

So this week Kenzie and Seb had swimming lesson with big Seb and Sophie. They each had private lessons – two kids and two instructors in the pool for two 30 minutes lessons It was quite a week for both Sophie and little Seb - both of whom decided that this was the week they were going to learn how to swim. All four kids did great and they each got badges at the end of the week. I brought my camera yesterday.

Kenzie’s lesson

Seb’s lesson

Is this not the best setting for swim lessons – sure beats the local parks and rec pool. Too bad it wasn’t summer all year long.

life in the slow lane

2009-08-01T14:49:00.000-04:00

We have really been enjoying the summer the last few weeks. We went camping last week and had a great time. Despite the rain in the evenings/at night, the weather during the days was wonderful. We were able to spend time at the beach every day and the kids had a blast swimming. Kenzie has really become a water bug and I can’t keep her out of the water. I am very proud of how well she is swimming. She’s come a long way from a year ago when she couldn’t swim at all. And Sebastian – just this morning – learned how to ride a two-wheeler. This little video shows the first time he did it this morning. Since then he has become an expert – he can go fast and slow, turn, stop etc. He’s so comfortable now that he and CJ just went for a bike ride together.

The kids have been having a pretty good summer. They have gone to a few different camps – Toronto Montessori, Appleby College and just last week they went to the Summer Institute camp with Sophie and Big Seb. After camp they were picked up by Sue and Rachel and Rachel had her first foray into babysitting. I was pretty impressed with her patience with the young kids. She did a really good job.

I love the kind of lazy pace of this summer. I have been trying hard not to schedule anything besides what is essential (i.e. camps and babysitting while CJ and I are work). Take this morning for instance. CJ and I were able to go outside and just hang out drinking coffee and let the kids play on the street on their bikes and scooters. At one point CJ and I were playing on the street (my on my bike and CJ on a scooter) and Kenzie, Seb and Koda were sitting on the grass playing with little stuffed animals and playmobil stuff.

Here is a picture from this afternoon. It totally shows our lazy “do whatever’ kind of day

Koda is very patiently letting them drive their stuffed animals and motorcycle toys down her back (note: Koda is a giant mountain)

This afternoon we are going to Andrea’s house for a barbeque. We have Kenzie’s friend Zoe with us today. She is spending the night. Tomorrow Kenzie and Seb are going to Zoe’s house in the evening so that CJ and I can go out for appetizers and drinks for his birthday. We want top go to a local pub called the Hunt Club near our house. They have an awesome rooftop patio and live music too. Sue & Brian and Bev and John are coming too. So I am looking forward to it.

I wanted to post a few pictures from camping.

Shannon, Kenzie and Soph at the beach

Bev taking the kids and Coco (dog) for a walk

All the kids (Kenzie was sulking cause things weren’t going her way)

Sunset swim on Saturday evening

Coming over the top of the sand dune and running towards the beach

CJ playing at the campfire

This was the first time we took Koda – she had a blast! She loved chasing chipmunks, going swimming and eating marshmallows

Older girls being silly

Fun in the water

Big waves

Seb and Kallie

Kenz and Soph after swimming

PowerWings rock! (now with pictures)

2009-07-12T07:52:00.003-04:00

We got Seb a PowerWing Scooter yesterday. It is the coolest thing since sliced bread. We are off to buy Kenzie one this morning. Too bad they don't make an adult version.

edited to add - they do make an adult version. Hmmmm and CJ's birthday is coming up....

and not to be left out, here's a pic of CJ off to go bike riding

and here's Koda, doing what she does best.

a much better week

2009-07-09T15:35:00.001-04:00

I am happy to say that kenzie’s second week of camp went amazingly well. She was in a different group this wek (Science camp) and made a new “best friend” on Monday. It has made a world of difference and she is enjoying camp and CJ and I are SO happy and relieved about that.

It’s been another crazy week for us (things are never slow are they)? But it’s been a good week. Last weekend was a fun weekend. On Sunday I wanted to give CJ some peace so that he could catch up with some work stuff, so I took the kids to Bronte Park where we met up with Omi and Andrea and Chris. I took ‘big Seb’ along for the fun too. The park is great. They have a big old barn there that they’ve made into a bit of an indoor playground with lots of stuff to climb and jump off of. They also have a giant pool (more like a small lake) for swimming. Everyone had a good time – the kids went in the water (but we adults didn’t cause it was fairly cold). We stayed there for quite a while and picnic’d by the pool. After the park we headed to my mum’s for a picnic and playing in her backyard. Come 5:00 the kids were all starting to become a bit cranky (they were probably exhausted) so I packed them up and drove home. All three of my charges were asleep within 3 minutes of pulling out of mum’s driveway. It was a peaceful drive home. Here are some pictures:

In the barn

Big Seb and Kenzie jumping

Seb

Slide

Omi and Jordana

Andrea – I think this is a cute picture of her

Outside the barn

Walking to the pool

Isaac and Jordana (Kenzie and Seb’s counsins)

Jordana loved the water

Seb after his swim

Our picnic table

At Omi’s house

Then it was back to work. As previously mentioned, Kenzie had a great first day of Science Camp – WOOT. On Tuesday afternoon I headed out to New York. I had an all day meeting there on Wednesday. One of the guys I met with used to be the chief architect for the NY transit system. So he took us on a tour of the subway system and pointed out a bunch of really neat stuff (hey, I’m a transit engineer, I like this stuff!) so that was pretty cool. Even better was the fact that I was able to catch an earlier flight home and was home last night by 9:20! That was so great.

This morning I noticed that our flower gardens are looking so nice. I wanted to take some pictures so that I could look at them in 6 months time when I forget what being outside without a parka feels like. So here are a few.

from upstairs

Backyard – grass needs to be cut

The front of the house

Up closer

And closer

Our climby stuff

The models (with the bears I brought back from NY. They have come to expect a gift – even if I’m only gone one night).

Tonight Kenzie has swimming again. She is doing her two weeks of swimming right now and absolutely LOVING it. I’ll have to put her in for additional lessons later this summer. She is already doing front crawl with the side breaths. I am just so happy about it because last year she couldn’t swim and was kinda fearful of the water – so this is a big improvement for her. I love the fact that she loves swimming so much!

Dear God

2009-07-02T10:02:00.000-04:00

Dear God,

Please be with Mackenzie today. On Tuesday, I picked her up from camp and she burst into tears as soon as she walked out the classroom door. She was practically inconsolable and couldn’t stop crying the whole way home. Finally, at home I heard about the experiences she had at camp over the last 2 days. She said that the kids in her group were excluding her and calling her names (“baby”, “boy”). She said that even though she was at Shutterbug camp, she only got to take 2 pictures because the other girls in her group wouldn’t share the camera with her. She explained how there was one specific girl who was the leader and who was convincing the other girls to be mean to her. How all the other girls knew each other from outside of camp. She told me that she went to the teacher (counselor) and told him what was going on. He told the “mean” kids that they would lose their computer time because of their behaviour - yet Kenzie was the one that didn’t get a turn on the computer when all the other kids did. I was so angry, so sad and so heartbroken on her behalf. I told her she wouldn’t have to go back to camp ever again.

Yesterday (Canada Day) was a much needed day off. But after talking to a number of friends and family I was convinced that it would be in Kenzie’s best interest to at least give it another shot and “not let the bullies win”. I convinced her to go back to camp, suggesting that maybe her grandmother would be allowed to sit in her class and be an observer. Finally she agreed to go with “Omi”.

This morning, we took her to camp and had a chat with the director. Unfortunately he said that Omi could not join them in class but that he would talk to the counselor and also have another teacher there keeping an eye on the situation. We relayed this to Kenzie and she said she didn’t want to go. She looked scared and upset. It took everything in my being to stop from scooping her up and taking her home. But instead I convinced her to be strong and to go back and face her fears. My little shy girl was so brave and strong and she agreed to go. She walked into the class and sat down by herself waiting for the counselor to take control and start the day’s activities. I couldn’t stay and watch. I had to leave her there to take care of herself. (I am sitting in my office and have tears streaming down my face).

My baby is only 6 years old. I can’t believe she is dealing with bullying. Isn’t bullying something that happens when kids are older – like in their teens? Why does it have to happen to Mackenzie who is so sweet and kind and wouldn’t hurt a fly. This is the girl that singings to her brother when he is sad. This is the girl that stands up for the little boy in her class who gets teased about his glasses. This is the girl who, when her baby brother was born, had not a single once of jealousy – all she wanted was to help take care of him. This is my baby who writes sweet notes and draws pictures for everyone she knows.

Ugh. Please God. Be with her and take care of her. Please help her to have a good day. Please help things to go in her favor and let her be strong and make new “good” friends. Please hold her hand and help her to know she is not alone. Help her to overcome this obstacle and come out of it stronger and kinder (knowing how hurtful mean people can be). Her report card said that she was a leader… Please help her to use this experience as a learning experience so that she can be a strong solid and compassionate leader in the future. Be with her today. Please.

its starting to feel a lot like summer!!!

2009-06-15T16:07:00.003-04:00

So it’s time for another update. The past three days have been crazy. Let me start by saying that I have been working like a dog lately – at least for me. I am kinda used to not over-working myself :) But the last 3 or 4 months I have been working like crazy. I REALLY like what I’m doing right now and I am personally interested in a lot of the stuff that is going on in my industry locally and throughout Canada, so on top of my regular job duties I have been trying to stay up to speed on what’s going on and do some business development as well. Needless to say I am unable to keep up a crazy pace for a long time (unlike CJ who is amazing at working 15 hours a day continuously for over a year).

In any case I ended up having a small breakdown at work on Friday. I was tired and worn out and someone senior (ok – the president) made a comment to me that I took as criticism and I way over reacted and got really upset and started to cry in his office. Then because I was so ticked off at my total lack of self control I cried even harder. I was just a mess. He was really good about everything and told me that I needed to cut back on work and spend more time with my family – which was such a sweet comment that I cried even harder. Ha ha ha. Ugh. I am now totally embarrassed about the whole ordeal but I guess I just need to move on. So that was Friday. By the time I got myself under control and finished up some critical work things, it was 3:00 – so I left the office and decided to give myself an hour to recuperate. I went and got a manicure and pedicure by myself and it was just LUXURY!

CJ had a baseball game that night and I was going to go and watch and then we were going to go out on a date. But when Rachel (and Brian) came over to babysit, I was still feeling rather “delicate” and didn’t want to be around a ton of people, so I took Koda for a walk. We were walking by Bev’s house and we saw Coco outside. So we went to say hello. Bev came out and said that she and Sof would join us for a walk. It was actually just what I needed. We went for a really long walk and of course Bev heard all about my “fabulous” day. By the time I got home I was feeling so much better. Bev and sof stayed for a visit and CJ came home and we all just hung out on the front patio and chatted till it was time for bed.

On Saturday we had my company’s summer picnic. It was at a local park and when we arrived the kids were thrilled to see this set up on the grass.

As you can imagine – the kids had a BLAST running through that thing with all the other kids for about 3 hours! There was also a mini put course set up  here are some pics.

I love this pic and just want to kiss his cheeks.

The cake (appetizing eh?)

So after all that playing we headed home ~ 3:00. CJ had another baseball game (it was a tournament weekend) so we were in separate cars. Both kids were asleep before we left the park. I was able to successful carry them from the car to their beds when we got home and they continued to sleep for a couple hours. Meanwhile, Helen called and asked if we wanted to go to Dave’s parents’ house for swimming and barbeque. So when the kids woke up from their naps they couldn’t believe their luck. Not only did they have a fun time at the picnic but they got to go swimming too. We arrived at about 5;30 and the kids played/swam hard the whole time except for about 10 minutes when they jumped out to eat a burger or hot dog. CJ joined us there at about 6:00 which was nice. At 9:00 we dragged the kids away… they weren’t very willing so we bribed them with a sleepover. So instead of taking our two kids home – we took 4 kids home with us. Luckily all the kiddos were absolutely exhausted from the days events that all 4 were asleep in Seb’s room by 10:00. WOOT!

Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was warm and sunny the whole day. The kids had fun playing together. We hit the park, went for a walk, and played in the sprinkler.

While the kids were playing, I was able to get some gardening done. I realized that our garden needed A LOT more colour. The grass is coming in nicely (from the bare spots from the sandbox and pool last year). But this is how it looks now… pretty sparse.

Guess where the dog pees.

After lunch, Helen came by to pick up Seb and Sophie. Kenzie had a birthday party in the afternoon so we had to run out and get a present. On the way home I was drawn to Home Depot to buy some flowers.

Here’s a pic of the Boo

We bought a ton of stuff – hanging baskets, more clematis for the front, some geraniums, petunias and marigolds (I don’t particularly like them so much but they keep the mosquitoes and wasps away) for planters on the balcony, some sort of red bush (can’t remember the name). In any case, when we got home, Seb was napping and Kenzie decided to lie down for a few minutes before her party started. I got right into my gardening and had a blast! There is something so therapeutic about gardening. In any case, the garden already looks better but this has just given me a taste. Now I am anxious to put a real physical border (either stone or that black plastic stuff) around the two flower beds, get and plant some more bushes and I really want to buy a couple small wood and wrought iron benches to put in the backyard to sit on.

Okay – now I am totally babbling… so to end my novel. After gardening I took a shower, CJ picked up Kenzie, the Woocks came over for a barbeque and we had a fun evening. Today it’s back to work and I am having a hard time getting motivated.

some things never change

2009-06-07T21:01:00.002-04:00

... like Kenzie's sense of fashion.

Dec. 2005

June 2009

visit and trip to african lion safari

2009-06-07T16:46:00.003-04:00

The weekend is almost over, and, once again, it has flown by. It had its ups and downs. It started off relatively well with me leaving work early on Friday afternoon to have a nice lunch with my mum. Unfortunately I was so exhausted from my work week that I couldn’t stop yawning. After lunch Omi and I picked the kids up from school. We got home and sat outside in the front and watched the kids play out on the street. Seb decided that he wanted to try 2-wheeling on his bike. Unfortunately he was just not in the right mind-frame. I was holding the back of his bike and he was doing great. I’m pretty sure that I could have let go and he would have been fine, but he was in a mood and everytime he started to lean just a bit he’d have a complete meltdown because he was frustrated. In any case, luckily Bev and Sofia showed up – Sof took both kids to the park and mum, Bev and I sat and drank wine and chatted and relaxed.

Saturday, Seb woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He was cranky and whiney from the minute he woke up. This was bad enough, but made even worse because yesterday was the day the Craig and Pat (CJ’s brother and mum) came to visit. We haven’t seen Craig for over a year. And this certainly did not give him a good impression. Craig and Pat arrivedd at about 11:30 and stayed until about 6:30 during which time Sebastian probably had no fewer than 20 meltdowns and whined for about 6 hours.

Here’s Seb having a meltdown because something didn’t go his way… maybe he missed the ball… or didn’t kick it as far as he wanted to.

CJ and his mom.

Uncle Craig and Koda became good friends.

Seb showing Craig how to play line-rider

Nana and Kenzie on our walk. We took a little break by the school and Kenzie made a card for Nana.

Luckily we got the kids to sleep shortly after P & C left. Seb was out by 7:15 and Kenzie shortly thereafter. They both had a good sleep and Seb was a different boy this morning. CJ was gone by the time we woke up this morning. He and Dave went to do a 50km bicycle ride for charity. So the kids and I decided to go on an adventure…. We considered Canada’s Wonderland but decided against it cause it was raining. So I took the kids to the African Lion Safari. They were great and we had a lot of fun. We drove the safari and saw lots of cool animals….

Like lions,

And giraffes,

And rhinos,

And ostriches,

and ….

MONKEYS!!

We saw a cool parrot show….

Took a train ride…

Rode on an elephant..

And finally headed home….. We are now home and I have handed over parenting duties to CJ. I am going to have a nice glass of wine and catch up on facebook while CJ takes the kiddos to the park.

Soccer season has begun

2009-06-04T12:28:00.002-04:00

Kenzie has had two games already this season. So far i am glad that we signed her up. She was pretty apprehensive about playing this year. Last year she played on a team with all boys, some of whom had been playing for a couple years already. I think it was pretty overwhelming for her, so she was nervous about playing again. But this year seems to be going really well so far (knock on wood). This year the league has boys and girls on sperate teams. She also got to play in goal for teh whole game earlier this week and her team ended up winning 8 to 1 so she was thrilled about that and teh fact that she played a significant part in her team winning. Here are some pics....

The ladies man

2009-06-04T12:27:00.000-04:00

Seb and his girlfriend are still going strong. They are so friggin cute together and they get along so well - they are both super confident and independant so they have fun together. :)

summertime!

2009-05-25T13:18:00.004-04:00

Well it’s been a while since I blogged. I guess it’s because I’ve been kinda down in the dumps and who wants to write about why they are miserable.

I am trying to get myself out of that mindset so I will talk about some fun things.

First of all I worked from home on Friday. One of the things I appreciate most about this job is that ability to work from home or just to have a more flexible schedule. No more punching in and out. In any case I worked hard in the morning and then I walked over to the school and handed out the hot lunch (pizza day!) to Kenzie’s class. It always makes Kenzie happy when I go there so that makes me feel good. After that I met my mum for lunch. It was beautiful weather so we sat outside on the patio of a nearby Italian restaurant. After lunch we picked the kids up from school and headed back to our house. Mum and I sat outside on the patio while the kiddos played with the neighbourhood kids on the street. (can I say again how awesome it is to live on a cul de sac where there is hardly any car traffic).

Here they are – the kids loved the bowl of fresh cherries (first bunch of the season).

Look at their cherry-stained grins.

Koda has discoved the hose.

At about 5:30 we packed the kids into my mum’s car and she took them out for dinner and then back to her place for a sleepover. This gave CJ and I the opportunity to go out for a date. We hit up a new bar near our house and had some wings and drinks for dinner. We then came home and watched a movie. How perfect.

Saturday morning CJ got up super early to go mountain biking while I lazed in bed and slept in. (Luxury!). When he got home we had coffee in bed. (again, luxury!) Later in the morning Andrea came over with Jordana. It was Andrea’s birthday on Friday so I gave her, her birthday present. Jordana is so darn cute and she is such a happy baby too.

After Andrea left, CJ and I drove to Oakville to pick up the kiddos. We hung out at my mums for a while, and then came home, went for a walk and had a barbeque dinner. It was a great day.

Yesterday was another wonderful day. The weather was perfect. mid-20’s, hardly a cloud in the sky. The morning was spent running errands (including getting Kenzie some soccer shoes. Her first game of the season is tonight). Then they kids put on their soccer shin pads, soccer socks and cleats and we went to the park to play soccer. That only lasted about 3 minutes before Kenzie was in tears because she couldn’t kick it as far as Seb and Seb was in tears because he didn’t get to keep the ball to himself the whole time… All of a sudden I see 3 little people running down the hill towards us. It was like God had heard my prayer and sent the Bishop girls. Kenzie immediately perked up cause Zoe was there and Seb was thrilled to have his “girlfriend Lilly” there. So we marched up the hill and the kids all played at the playground while Rich, CJ and I sat on the boulders soaking in the sun and watching the kids play.

After a late lunch we met up with Helen and the kids at a new water park/play ground. The kids had a blast running through the water and playing with each other. I love seeing them play outside. It was such a long cold winter and we were couped up inside for so long that I am appreciative of every minute we get that the kids can be outside and playing. And it’s showing – despite putting sun screen on them, they are both getting that sun-kissed/summer glow/tan.

CJ had to leave early to go play baseball so Helen and I took the brood (5 kids) to a new restaurant (Turtle jacks) for dinner and margaritas (Helen and I, not the kids). Then it was time to go home and do the homework that the kids avoided all weekend. Soon after they finished their homework CJ came home and took them outside to play street hockey. Kenzie decided she needed her soccer shoes for that….

And that was our weekend. Two-day weekends are way too short. I am going to start taking advantage of our summertime “Fridays off” policy.

I love

2009-05-17T21:07:00.003-04:00

Kenzie's choir at the spring recital

2009-05-12T16:52:00.002-04:00

Never fully dressed without a smile

It's a hard knock life

The sun'll come out tomorrow

feeling sad

2009-05-10T22:40:00.001-04:00

The good
• I have the most loyal, kind and loveable husband in the world. I truly look forward to growing old with him and spending our retirement days playing together.
• I love our kiddos so much. They are good sweet kids. Sure they fight and they whine and they drive CJ and I crazy, but in general they are good kids who are pretty well behaved, loving and kind to each other and to other people in general.

The bad
• I drink too much
• I eat too much junk food
• I spend way too much time working / emailing when I am at home and should be spending time with my family
• Our house is always messy and we have a cat that pees all over. I know its time to “send her to kitty heaven” but I just can’t do it.
• We finally get to go to Seattle in 2 weeks and all I can think about is how fat I am now and how everyone will be so shocked to see how much weight I’ve gained. I also feel so guilty because Kenzie talks about going to Seattle all the time but we just can’t afford to talk her… so we will probably have to lie to her cause if she knows we are going there she would be devastated.
• I can’t sleep cause CJ is snoring really loudly beside me but I can’t go to the guest room cause my dad is sleeping there now.

The ugly
• My mother is so severely depressed I am scared she is going to do something to herself
• CJ hurt himself badly today playing softball. I’m afraid he is going to be in a lot of pain tomorrow. I hope the doctor can fix him.
• My mum and my sister are no longer speaking to each other and this time I think their relationship is over… for life
• I feel like CJ and I are always doing the entertaining. There are some “friends” here is Toronto who have come to our house a number of times and never once invited us over to their house. There are others who have invited us only once or twice over the last 3 years. CJ and I have had these people over for dinner, drinks, parties etc at least 30-40 times (no exaggeration). It makes me wonder if we’d have any friends if we didn’t entertain.
• I am feeling really down.

Line Rider

2009-05-02T19:06:00.002-04:00

Seb is addicted to line rider... and I think CJ isn't too far off either. Here are some pics of Seb and Seb playing. (it still amazes me how easily kids pick up these computer games)

A chip off the old block

2009-04-26T18:02:00.000-04:00

sleepy

2009-04-25T15:27:00.004-04:00

I'm sleepy now. It's 3:30 on Saturday and I'm sitting down doing nothing. Seb is upstairs napping (Thank goodness since he's been a bit whiney today). CJ just left to take Kenzie to her second birthday party of the day. Earlier today the Woock girls joined us for some hanging out and park playing. Here are some pics.

damn.... Seb's awake... more later.

Easter and blading

2009-04-14T12:26:00.002-04:00

I am extremely tired today but wanted to post a few pics from our Easter weekend. This is when the kids were looking for Easter eggs. We had to hide them in the basement (and close the door), since Koda would have found and eaten anything we left anywhere else in the house before the kids even woke up. CJ's mum spent teh weekend with us. Andrea and Chris & Jordana came over in teh afternoon too for turkey dinner but I didn't take any pictures (I was feeling lazy).

Their stash…

They got a ton of chocolate… too much in fact. I may have to help them eat it.

Yesterday the kids were still off of school so we spent the day biking, roller blading, playing street hockey and skateboarding. I am so glad the weather has warmed up enough to play outside. We still have a bit of snow on the ground but hopefully that'll be all gone in the next day or two. I can't believe we had almost 6 months of snow this winter. gross.

He did pretty well for his first time on roller-blades. This is before we went back to the store to buy him his own stick (kid-sized)

Kenzie is really quite confident and good at roller blading.

CJ is a total stud on skates – he skates like a hockey pro.

Poor Seb fell on his butt some many times that he was super sore last night. We had to put a cold cloth on his tailbone to soothe it a bit. He kept telling us that he had a “butt cramp”.

Have i mentioned that I am a skateboarding pro? I can even steer the damn thing.... :)

random thoughts

2009-04-13T02:25:00.000-04:00

1. We had a good Easter. The kids had a ton of fun.
2. It was nice to see Andrea yesterday although I am really sad/frustrated about the deteriorating relationship between Andrea and mum
3. I wish mum wasn’t so stubborn and such an emotional manipulator
4. I wish Andrea was less stubborn and more thoughtful
5. I wish both of them could admit that they are partially wrong
6. I don’t know of I’m going into the office this morning or working from home
7. I am so glad that I no longer have to “punch the clock” at work
8. I wonder if we will get any of the work i/we’ve been chasing after (I really hope so)
9. I don’t know what to do with Sebby. He has become kinda rude sometimes and doesn’t have good manners (when he doesn’t want to).
10. I need to spend more time reading with Kenzie. She thinks other kids are smarter than her, when really I think its just that they’ve had more practice.
11. I am looking forward to warmer spring weather.
12. Maybe, if I stay home today, I’ll rake the grass and let the kiddos play outside.
13. The turkey soup we made last night was really good.
14. I hope the financing for our new car is approved.

The defining moment

2009-04-05T09:01:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was my company’s Anniversary Party (more on that another time – it was super fun though and made me proud to be part of the company), but I needed a nice outfit. So Kenzie and I went to the mall for some shopping. I was in the changing room with her and we had this conversation:

K: Mummy, if you come to visit me at school and Shannon says something not nice to you, don’t believe her.

Me: what are you talking about, what would she say?

K: she might say that you need to work out more.

Me: oh, well that wouldn’t be very nice.

K: I know, but she said that to Logan’s mom

Me: do you think I need to go on a diet and work out more?

K: No, I think you are perfect, but Shannon might think you need to work out.

It made me so sad. I’ve always worried a bit about when the time will come that our kids are embarrassed about me (it almost always happens at some point on a child’s life that they are embarrassed by their mom). But I never expected a situation where one of the kids would see a flaw or imperfection and feel protective of me. In any case, that was the moment where I realized I need to lose weight! I have fallen into bad habits over the last few months and have put on almost 15 lbs since last summer when we went to the Dominican. So starting today:

1. No more alcohol!!
2. no junk food
3. drink lots of water
4. make sure the majority of my meals are fruits and veggies
5. get out and be active with the kids as often as possible

So, wish me luck.

Seb's turn

2009-03-27T13:55:00.003-04:00

Today was Seb's turn to show off Koda. He was so excited he couldn't stop smiling. he was so proud. It made me so happy to see the little guy so happy :)

And Koda was awesome again - she was so good and gentle with all the kids. and she got lots of treats so she had fun.

oh yeah... and today was pajama day at school. Seb doesn't wear them to school every day... although he'd like to.

cheeks

2009-03-23T15:33:00.003-04:00

Nikki gave me this idea. It's not Seb's birthday but this was still fun.

July 2005

Oct 2006

Aug 2007

July 2008

March 2009

grindin'

2009-03-21T20:23:00.002-04:00

Kids got skateboards today. I should have known better, but I gave them to them at about 6:30 tonight, after a day full of playing and a birthday party. They were tired before they even started. I was pretty impressed with their motor skills - they were both able to get on and shuffle around a bit, but Seb kept putting more weight on one side of the board so it would always turn in one direction. This made him VERY upset and frustrated and we ultimately had to take the board away from him and take a break until tomorrow because he was throwing a tantrum every 2 minutes. In any case, I got few pictures taken before the meltdowns began. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more fun for everyone.

On another note. This is the first weekend in about 3 months that I haven’t had to work on the weekend. I am so happy about that. When I work on the weekend it just feels like I don’t get a decent break to recharge my batteries. I have been feeling pretty burnt out at work so this was a good thing for me. I think that by the time Monday rolls around I’ll be all set to go again.

Going down the driveway

Thank God for wristpads

Here they come

The Boo

Starting to be more confident

In a happy moment

She’s cool

Here’s another way of doing it

Seb being a poop!

Jordana

2009-03-19T20:37:00.002-04:00

I took this picture yesterday. I just can't get over how darn adoarble she is. i could eat her up.

2 of my 3 favourite people in the world

2009-03-19T20:30:00.001-04:00

Where the hell are the kids

2009-03-16T19:56:00.003-04:00

This is based on the "where the hell is Matt" videos. We visited a number of places in our neighbourhood and the kids danced. I don't know how to merge videos, so this is the best I could do. It was a super fun day. Cast: Rachel, Big Sebastian, Sophie, Mackenzien and Little Seb.

pictures

2009-03-14T18:53:00.002-04:00

we went to the Maple Syrup Festival this afternoon and met up with ANdrea and Jordana. I love these pictures. Jori is so darn cute. and I was also able to get that sparkly eye thing going on... total fluke but I love that look in pictures.

what better way to end a great day....

2009-03-14T07:42:00.002-04:00

than a party and a sleepover....

One trashed basement....

the girls

the boys

Courtney

one trashed room... Koda is chewing a sock, not bleeding profusely from the mouth.

sleepover synopsis....

- 4 kids fell asleep at 10:30
- Seb came to my bed at 11:00
- Kenzie came to my bed at 12:30
- I went to guest room at 1:00
- CJ came home at 1:15
- Kids woke up up at 6:00 am

Kenzie's day at school

2009-03-13T14:21:00.003-04:00

Kenzie had a great day at school. First off this morning, the school had a Breakfast and Read event for the students and parents. They provided breakfast and we were supposed to read to the kids. We didn’t do much reading but it was fun to have breakfast and hang out with friends.

Then we moved to the auditorium where they had audio/video stories. The kids and adults both enjoyed that.

Then there was the Book Launching Party. All the gr. 1 and 2 students wrote short stories and made an illustration. The stories and pictures were consolidated and published in a book. I have a copy of the book. A copy of the book is also available at the Library of Canada now J So our Boo is now a published author! Today was the book launch party. They showed pictures of all the kids’ illustrations on the big screen in the gym. They also made a short video of some of the kids explaining how it felt to be a published author.

This is when kenzie’s page came up on the screen.

here is our author

the parents and students at the “launch”. Kenzie is in the back row. Her head is blocked.

After that we went back to the classroom where each child read his/her story to the class. They we all had cupcakes.

Here is Kenzie reading.

Kenzie at her desk waiting for a cupcake.

This is the book

and here is her story

She was happy to have me at school with her.

Kenzie has wanted to take Koda to school for “show and share” for quite some time. I got a note home from her teacher yesterday saying if we wanted to bring her by today we could do that. So of course I did. It went great. Koda behaved so well and the kids LOVED her. She got lots of treats and lots of hugs. And Kenzie was so proud.

It was an exciting day at school and a great start to March Break.

spring?

2009-03-06T19:50:00.003-05:00

It was unusually warm out today. So despite me feeling like death, I took the kids & Koda for a walk outside. It was quite fun. Kenzie rollerbladed and Seb rode his bike. I was amazed at how well the Boo is blading now. I guess all that practice in the house over the winter has paid off. :)

she actually tore her tights at school today, not from rollerblading

isn't all the old dirty snow just gross?

Koda to the Boda

whats a little water and ice... she skated right through it

Seb

2009-03-06T11:50:00.004-05:00

I'm home sick again today. Yesterday I had this migraine that seriously made me want to die. This morning I woke up with remnants of that headache and so I called in sick again. i am scared of how much work I will have to catch up on over the weekend and next week. But I am glad I stayed home. I can't imagine being at the office today. I have zero energy and I still feel like crap.

Seb also stayed home today. he probably could have gone into school today but he has a it of a cold so I figured it would do him good to stay home and rest too.

This was him when he got up this morning.

I looked at him and decided he needed something......

a hair cut!!!

he hasn't has his hair this short in a long time. I think he looks very handsome. :)

CUTE!

2009-03-02T18:23:00.001-05:00

karate

2009-02-22T08:44:00.002-05:00

Well it was really neat. This was the first time Kenzie was in the actual karate studio (dojo). The parents got to come in too and watch. I was really impressed watching what all the kids had learned at their school karate course. It was done at lunchtime in teh school gym every Wednesday for the last 4 months. The Sensei explained that the course at the school is different from the real karate since they don't have the mats and the proper space they have at the dojo. So Kenzie didn't actually get her yellow belt yesterday... but she was awarded a white belt with a yellow stripe.

I was still amazed at everything she knew how to do and I was impressed by how well all the young kids focused and paid attention.

Here they all are with their new belts

And here are a few extra random pics from yesterday.

Kenzie rollersblading in the house – her newest past-time.

The kids and Koda in the car yesterday

In any case, Kenzie has shown a real interest in karate so I think we are going to sign her up in the real program where she’ll go two or three times a week (and she'll get the white outfit which she is excited aout). Sebby is also signed up for an “assessment” next Friday. I’m not sure if he is ready for karate. He is not very good at following direction and he has the shortest attention span imaginable… but those are some of the reasons I want to get him into the program. We’ll see what comes out of it.

karate graduation

2009-02-21T08:18:00.001-05:00

our Boo is having her first karate graduation (to yellow belt) this afternoon. We are proud of her...... ahhhhh yaaaaa!!!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T08:33:00.002-05:00

Hi there.

It’s me Karen and I am alive and grateful. The last couple weeks have been absolutely crazy. CJ and I have just been so swamped (that is an understatement) at work. The kids have also been sick so that is always stressful and required CJ and I to juggle our work schedules to stay home etc. But it’s the weekend so let’s not talk about work…

and it’s Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!. Kenzie has been counting down the days for the last 10 days. She was so excited last night. Of course CJ and I were woefully unprepared for the day so I ran out to the store yesterday to pick up some cards and small treats. Well lo and behold the Superstore had these amazing giant stuffed animals there (and they were only $29 each). I couldn’t resist. I got some strange looks as I was walking through the store with these two in the cart. It was totally worth it when I saw the kids faces this morning.

Excuse the state of our fridge

For Valentine’s day CJ made me a CD with a bunch of songs (by him). It’s awesome. It’s basically just him and his guitar. I LOVE it. I will take it in the car with me so I can listen to it all the time. He sounds so good. Thank you honey!!

This is what I look like pre-coffee in the morning

CJ got a new Xbox game 

Okay, I’ve just realized that I am WAY TOO tired to blog. So I will upload this now and then drink my coffee.

And here are some random pics taken over the last few days…

After her bath… I had just curled her hair

Fort at Omi’s house

Being Canadian

2009-01-27T09:33:00.001-05:00

I got this in an email from a friend this morning and it make me alugh because of how true it was (except for the fact that I don’t know how to use jumper cables).

Forget Rednecks, Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say
about Canucks.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

If you know several people Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

If you carry jumpers in your car And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter, And road construction,
You may live in Canada .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

And along a similar theme… we live on a cul de sac. This is the pile of dirty snow at the end of our street that is dumped there by the snow plow because there is no where else on the side of the street to put it…

All the kids on our street like to play in it…. (note Sebastian sliding down… it makes a good slide)

This is Sebastian making it to the top

He almost gave me a heart attack yesterday walking along the top like this…

I didn’t notice until I uploaded my pics but check out Jacob, the “kamikaze kid” jumping off the back of the snow pile….

bragging

2009-01-26T17:29:00.002-05:00

I just took Kenzie's folder out of her backpack and saw that she had math homework. So I read the question to her. It was....

"What's the number: You say the number when you count by 2s. You say the number when you count by 5s. You say the number when you count by 10s. The number is greater than 20 and less than 40. What is the number?"

She is supposed to use numbers and pictures to figure it out. I turned my head and was about to suggest some ways she could figure it out and she said "30". so very matter-o-fact'ly.

She is a smartie-pants.

Kenzie's labels

2009-01-25T21:15:00.004-05:00

CJs leg

on this day three years ago

2009-01-19T13:19:00.004-05:00

Every once in a while I like to look back at my blog posts from a while back and remember what life was like. Today I randomly chose to look at January/February 2006. At that time we were living in Seattle, the kids were 1 and 3, CJ was a stay-at-home Dad, I was working at IBI and we were socializing and partying a lot. I miss that time. I know it's like looking through rose-coloured glasses, but all I remember were the great times. Get togethers with our friends, play dates, fun things to do in Seattle, happy hour with the ladies etc. Here are a few photos from back then. I can't believe how little the kids were.... CJ ... if you are reading this... we NEED to buy some plane tickets and go back to seattle for a visit.

CJ and Kenzie at Andrea and chris's wedding

One of my all time favs of CJ the stay-at-home dad

poor little Seb (it's a good pic of me though and that's what's important right) :)

Kenzie and her friend Katrina

so so cute

Friends (Bila and Dawn)

CJ running around Greenlake

Look how little she was....

The ladies. I miss them.

Christmas Eve with the Wheelers

Kenzie caught in the act!

The Boo

This pic is when they were even younger (maybe 2-1/2 and 6 months?)

Kenzie's 6th Birthday Party

2009-01-18T08:56:00.004-05:00

Kenzie had her birthday party yesterday. I think it went great. She invited 15 of her closest friends (and her brother) to join her at Griffin Gymnastics for her birthday party. The best part was that CJ got on an earlier flight so when we got to Griffin, he was waiting there in the parking lot. Kenzie had fallen asleep on the way there, so she woke up when CJ opened the car door. She opened her eyes and saw Daddy and she was so happy.

The party went great. The coaches at Griffin took all the kids through an hour of gymnastics. Kenzie got to be first all the time, which I think she loved. After that it was upstairs for everyone where we had pizza (thank goodness it arrived on time)and cake and Kenzie opened her presents. She got so many great presents and yesterday evening and all morning today has been spent playing with her new crafts and toys.

When I asked her last night what teh best part of her party was, she said it was "seeing Daddy". Sometime I worry that she'll get spoiled with all the presents and stuff that she gets... but her comment made me realize that she still has her priorities straight. It made me proud.

getting ready to start

cake time

presents

My friends Gay and Helen

at home coloring the messenger bag. This is an awesome gift. We all helped out and it was super fun. Kenzie was happy to have Daddy home.

Its snowing again

2009-01-18T08:20:00.000-05:00

I can't wait for spring.

on my mind

2009-01-17T12:44:00.002-05:00

1. I'm proud of Seb for doing so well at the dentist (6 months ago he wouldn't open his mouth - today he got his teeth cleaned and polished with no fuss).
2. I'm surprised that Kenzie was told to brush her teeth more but Seb got kudos for having such clean teeth.
3. I'm sad that Kenzie is feeling coldy on the day of her birthday party.
4. I can't wait to see CJ - He's been away on business since Tuesday and I miss him.
5. I should have gotten webkinz for the loot bags instead of those mini barbie toys (the older kids are probably too old for what I got).
6. I should turn the fireplace off cause it's really warm - but its so cosy.
7. Should I be honest with Omi when she asks if the kids liked the soup she made?
8. I am so glad that Tyrone is presenting at the public meetings this week and that I don't have to.
9. Koda (the dog) is a PITA. She keeps stealing food from the counter.
10. I had fun at Angela's house yesterday.

weekend recap

2009-01-12T14:38:00.001-05:00

So this weekend was a really fun weekend. On Saturday morning CJ decided to make a big breakfast with pancakes, egg scramble toast etc. We were talking about how the egg scramble reminded us for “the good old days’ in Seattle when we’d go out for brunch after a late night of partying and drinking and have a greasy breakfast and a couple ceasars to help with the hang over. So we decided to have a couple ceasars with breakfast to get us going. They were spicy and yummy.

Next we headed outside for some tobogganing. We have so much snow now that the ploughs don’t know where to put it anymore. It was a perfect morning for tobogganing…

Here are the kids (and Koda) about to head to the park.

Preparing for the first run.

And they’re off……

We let Koda off her leash but she decided to take off for the lake so after that she was tied to the post….

Another action shot

And here comes CJ doing his sled boarding…. (notice he’s about to take out Sebastian). CJ actually sacrificed himself and threw himself to the ground so as to avoid hitting our son. Poor CJ… I think he forgot that he had hernia surgery less than 4 weeks ago.

In any case, we all survived. After we got home and warmed up, Kenzie and I headed to the salon. We both got our hair and nails done… and she….. GOT HERE EARS PIERCED!!!

This picture was taken the next day.

She was very brave and didn’t even cry. But she did go a bit pale after they were pierced. By the time we were back in the car she was all better and was happy about her new “look”.

We got home and picked up CJ and Seb who had spent the afternoon shopping for a birthday present for Isaac and blowing up balloons. We headed over to Andrea’s for a small party for Isaac. Here are some pics…

Kenzie and the birthday boy.

I think this is a cute picture

And the cousins

At about 6:30 CJ and I left and bode farewell to our kiddos until Sunday morning (mum took them back to Oakville for the night). CJ and I then met up with Helen, Dave, Vikki, Greg, Jacque and Graham and we had a WONDERFUL dinner and a fun night. About 3 hours later we said goodbye and headed home. I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Yesterday (Sunday) morning we woke up peacefully and lazed around drinking coffee and watching Lost Season 4 episodes. The new season is starting in a few days so CJ and I need to get caught up. I could have watched that show all day, but alas, we had to go to Oakville to pick up the kids. We got to Oakville in the early afternoon and spent the day playing Wii and hanging out at mum.s Then we sat down for dinner and mum had cooked the most amazing Indian dinner with a ton of super flavorful and spicy dishes (the kids got pea soup instead – which they love) . It was so yummy. My mouth is still watering thinking about it.

In any case, we are back at work/school now and another week has begun. CJ is actually going away on business tomorrow and will be gone until Saturday night. I miss him already and can’t wait for him to come home. Kenzie is having her birthday party on Saturday so I have a bunch of things to get done this week in order to prepare (loot bags, order cake, get decorations etc).

So that was our weekend recap… notice how I never recap the weekdays…ha!

Seb goes to the doctor

2009-01-09T13:45:00.005-05:00

So today the kids had their annual doctor’s appointments. Seb had two shots. The first shot was no big deal, but the second one was both a surprise (the nurse did it while he wasn’t looking) and it was also one of these monster shots that goes right in the muscle and the nurse had warned me that it would hurt. Well Seb wasn’t happy about it at all. He screamed bloody murder for, seriously, 15 minutes straight. He refused to put his shirt back on and I finally dragged him screaming and crying, half-dressed out of the office and to the car. Everyone in the waiting room looked over and saw the poor boy practically limping out, swollen eyes, still gasping for breath, walking with his arm held out to the side as though it was broken. Talk about drama queen. I am pretty sure that when Kenzie got the same shot two years ago she didn’t even cry and went straight to school afterwards.

In any case, Seb got to stay home with me today but I had to get work done so he promised that he would be good and play by himself. He’s actually done a pretty good job of it so far but I have a conference call in about half an hour so I thought I would try to get him down for a nap. We went up to his room and we did a page of “search and find” together (his usual, before bed routine) and then we lay down and I started to rub his back (it usually helps him to fall asleep). We had this conversation.

Seb: I hate shots
Me: I know honey. But it’s done now and you don’t need to get one again for a long time.
S: I HAVE TO GET ANOTHER ONE!!??!!
M: not for many, many years?
S: Like when I’m ten.
M: yes, when you’re ten. Now close your eyes and go to sleep.

….Seb closes his eyes and it’s quiet….

S: Mummy… what if I have to get a shot in my eyeball?
M: I don’t think you’ll get a shot in your eyeball.
S: Why not?
M: Because they don’t give people shots in their eyeballs. Now go to sleep.

……quiet……

S: Will I need to get a shot when I’m 100?
M: Maybe honey, but I’m not sure. We’ll have to wait and see.
S: will the shot I got today make my cold go away?
M: I don’t think so. That’s one of the problems with colds… there is no known cure.
S: only medicine?
M: well actually medicine doesn’t make your cold go away, it just makes you more comfortable.
S: so my cold will never go away!?!?!:?!
M: Yes, it will go away in time.
S: How… what makes it go away?
M: your body will. Your body is strong and will make your cold go away, but it needs lots of rest to get better.
S: Oh… that is SO COOL!!!!

………quiet……… (I look over and his eyes are closed and he is breathing deeply)

S: What would happen if I got a shot in my eyeball?
M: it would probably hurt a lot, but I don’t think that will ever happen.
S: Will my eyeball bleed?
M: I don’t know Sebby, now go to sleep.
S: But I’m not tired.
M: then just lie down and rest.
S: But I want to play.
M: well then I’ll lock you in your room. (he fears being locked in his room so this was my “empty threat”). Now lie down and go to sleep.

…..quiet…..

S: So, are you going to lock me in my room?
M: No, lie down and go to sleep.
S: But you said that I could play if you locked me in my room, so lock me in my room.
M: No Seb… you need to rest. Lie down.
S: PLEASE MUMMY. PLEASE LOCK ME IN MY ROOM!!!
M: okay fine, I will, as soon as I get up… I’m tired and lying down right now.
S: Thanks Mummy. I love you.

So I’m lying there thinking to myself… what exactly happened in this conversation? In any case he is now in his room (NOT locked in) but he is playing quietly and I am about to call into my conference call.

And, one of the things the doctor asked me about him was whether he was talking (because of course he didn’t open his mouth the whole time we were there).

Happy New Years

2009-01-02T13:01:00.004-05:00

So it’s now officially 2009 and I am very happy about it. I think 2008 was a kinda tough year but 2009 is going to be amazing. I just have a really good feeling about it.

It started off with a bang… The Ingram’s hosted our very first New Year’s party. In attendance were approximately 15 kids, 14 adults, 2 cats (one of which peed on poor Zoe), 1 dog, and 4 (?) fish. I was pleasantly surprised by a number of things:

1. The kids didn’t fight and all played nicely together.
2. The adults got to play pool.
3. We had lots of good laughs.
4. I had a nice buzz going the whole evening and didn’t get too tipsy or too tired.
5. We had a ton of yummy food (thanks to everyone who brought stuff)
6. Koda was a relatively good dog and didn’t eat enough food to make her explode.
7. EVERYONE stayed up to midnight (John woke up from his nap in time)

And……

8. The house wasn’t trashed and it was super easy to tidy up afterwards.

Here are some pics.

kids

more kids

don't you love the streaks in Emily's hair

12 kids watching one movie

Adults

My sexy husband

a few minutes before midnight

So… here we are. 2009. CJ and I are both at work today because we are busy but (especially in this economy) I think that is a very good thing. I am so pleased that I made the switch to this job.

Brian sent out an email about this summer’s upcoming camping trips and I am excited about that.

I have decided I’d like to try to take a trip to Vancouver BC this year and I’m going to try to convince all my Seattle friends to meet me there.

Hopefully CJ will be able to join his buds for the Montana fishing trip this year (if “new-dad Brown” is allowed to go).

The kids are doing great and Kenzie has just found her groove in so many ways (socially and academically).

Any who… I hope everyone has a wonderful, happy, healthy and prosperous 2009.

Resolution time

2008-12-29T14:30:00.004-05:00

Wow. It’s December 29th and its almost 2009. My little girl is 6 years old now and my little man is 4. I can’t believe how quickly they are growing up. I am getting sad. I sometimes wish I could enjoy them more. I wish I didn’t get so frustrated with them. I wish that I was more patient with them and that I spent more time listening and playing with them and less time tidying the house, checking my email, working, and doing a bunch of other stuff that just isn’t as important. I have to admit, I’m just not interested in playing shutes and ladders, or having tea parties or playing cars or trains, or marble runs. What kind of a mother am I? I keep wondering “when will they just want to hang out with me and chat?” But, I am already noticing that Kenzie doesn’t tell me as much stuff as she used to. I often ask her how her day is and she’ll say “fine”. When I ask what she did I get “I don’t remember”. Time is slipping away and I am letting it. I don’t want to be someone who looks back to when her kids were young and has regrets. I have realized that it’s not about playing silly games or watching the same “trick over and over” … its about showing the kids that I care about them. It’s not good enough for me to tell them that I love them every day, and make sure that they are fed, clothed, have their homework done, get to extra curricular activities and to school etc. I need to SHOW them that I care enough about them to stop whatever else I am doing and spend quality time with them. I do that with my friends, I do that with CJ (although I need to do it more), but I NEED to do it with the kids too.

So, this is my resolution for 2009. I am going to spend more time with the kids. I am going to play the games they want to play. When Kenzie wants to scrap book with me, I am going to say “okay, let’s do it” instead of getting anxious about her using up my 30 best embellishments on ONE page. When the kids want to go sledding (in the friggin 20 below weather), I am going to say “okay!” and I will take them. When they want to help me with dinner or make crafts or play cards – we will do it together. Instead of eating dinner at kitchen island, I am going to try to get us as a family to sit down for dinner at least a few time a week. When the kids want me to watch them sing or dance or do gymnastics I will stop what I’m doing and give them my full attention.

I know I won’t do this all the time, I might not even do it most of the time, but my resolution is to try harder. And I am truly dedicated to that. If I could put as much effort into this resolution as I do at my job, or at losing weight, or at cleaning the house before the guests come over, then that will be an improvement.

I am going to try hard to eliminate the following from my vocabulary:

“later”
“I can’t right now”
“as soon as I’m done this”
“it’s too cold”
“it’s too late”
“you can do that by yourself”
“why don’t you ask your brother/sister”

I am also going to try to make sure CJ and I get to spend at least one evening together (uninterrupted) every month. I think I need to start planning date nights and scheduling the babysitting – cause when we are home we never get a chance to talk. Once the kids are in bed he and I are usually too tired to talk so we either fall asleep or watch a bit of TV. He and the kids are the most important people in my life and I am determined to give them the time, quality attention and love that they deserve.

And because I feel like it, here are a few pictures:

My handsome man all dressed up to go to Christmas Eve at Andrea's

My handsome men (I am very very lucky!!)

Getting ready for our traditional fondue Christmas Eve dinner

Andrea and Jordana

Kenzie with her new slippers

Kenz and Seb opening presents

Andrea, Chris and Jordana

The kids on Christmas morning

CJ with the Christmas turkey

Jordana - so cute

Omi and Sebby

Opa and Jordana

Self-pity party

2008-12-21T07:08:00.001-05:00

So I’ve been very bitchy and feeling sorry for myself lately.

I have been sick for about 4 weeks now. I’m convinced I have another sinus infection. It’s just not going away. I wake up several times a night with a very sore throat and feeling just like crap. Every morning I am absolutely exhausted.

Sebastian and CJ have also been sick. And when Sebby is sick he always sleeps badly (waking several times a night) and he wants me to lie with him, so as a result I usually get a crappy night’s sleep.

CJ had his surgery on Monday. So as a result a lot of the parenting and other responsibilities (shopping, getting ready for Christmas, shoveling snow, taking kids to school and picking them up etc) have fallen to me. So I’ve been all grumpy and bitchy about that and as a result I haven’t been very “nurturing” to CJ. The best I can do is encourage him to rest and lie down. But … to be honest I think I’ve been pretty horrible to him. And so then I feel guilty which make me even more bitchy. I really wish I wasn’t like that and every morning I make myself a promise to be more patient and kind, but then something will happen and I’ll snap or be short with CJ again. And I think my bitchiness is rubbing off on him… well that and the fact that he still feels crappy and is in pain is making him short and snappy with the kids, which makes me feel like I have to overcompensate and be extra “soft” with the kids… and I know that drives CJ crazy.

My Dad arrived last Sunday too (the day CJ went into the hospital). Now my dad is very undemanding but he still has little quirks that irritate me, so I sometimes snap at him and then I feel bad about that too. I have also been going to bed as soon as the kids are in bed cause I am so tired, so I feel like I’ve been doing a bad job of being a good host and talking to him.

So, what else…. Oh yeah – work!! I am SWAMPED at work. Without going into a lot of details… I was asked to cover for another project manager who was off for a couple weeks. I was thrown into it (she talked to me for about 10 minutes the day before she left) and there were 3 major deliverables that had to be submitted…. I wasn’t happy with a couple of them but when I asked the president for his input he said he didn’t have time and threw it back at me. So I did my best with having them revised and I asked him if he had any comments. When none came back, I submitted the reports. So last week the clients said that they had some concerns and so of course I feel like shit cause I knew there were issues but I sent them in anyway. Then also last week – when CJ was at the hospital I had 2 big presentations to prepare and present and that just stressed me out completely. Finally I have a major proposal due on January 5th which I haven’t even started yet. So even though our office is closed for the next two weeks I’ll be working the whole time. … and to be honest I don’t think we’re gonna win the job because there is another firm in the area here which has more experience but I already committed to preparing the proposal so now I have to do it.

Then of course is Christmas. I love Christmas. It’s my favourite holiday. I love decorating and baking and listening to music etc, but this year I haven’t been able to enjoy the season at all. That makes me sad.

Oh yeah … and my camera broke. Do you know how sad that makes me? Very very very sad. I feel like I’ve lost an arm or a leg. Oh how dramatic am I???

Woe is me…..

Christmas to do list

2008-12-09T14:00:00.003-05:00

Done
Put up Christmas Lights (check) - Thanks CJ
send Christmas Cards (some - check)
Put up and decorate Tree (check)

To DO
send remaining Christmas cards (If anyone reading this knows Sam, Sarah or Karen Bell's address let me know - the emails I sent them were returned)
get CJ's hernia fixed
buy/order presents (Andrea, Chris, Mum (Omi), Dad (Opa), Jordana, Seb and Kenzie, CJ, friends, dog, cats)
wrap presents
buy stockings for pets (requested by kenzie)
put up stockings
bake cookies
clean house
buy food
buy booze
get ready for dad's arrival/visit
bathe dog

Yes, I'm a bit stressed out.

On another note, CJ's mum came to visit this past weekend. We went to my company's kids' christmas party and everyone had fun.

On Sunday we decided to do a family "tree trimming" do my mum and Andrea and her family came over too. Jordana just gets cuter and cuter every time I see her. See for yourself.

I really like this picture of the kids and their grandmothers playing Monopoly!

December

2008-12-02T14:56:00.001-05:00

I don’t know if anyone else is aware of this, but it is actually December now. I love December. It is a crazy busy month but it’s full of fun stuff… like white snow and Christmas lights; kids’ birthdays and birthday parties; gingerbread houses and Christmas cookies; Christmas parties; drinks with friends; Open House parties; gift exchanges; cookie exchanges etc. Our month is totally booked up already. This picture is from Sunday… the Woocks stopped by in the afternoon and the kids all made a gingerbread house.

They did a fantastic job.

Tasting the final product – post destruction.

Unfortunately CJ is going in for hernia surgery in less than two weeks. I know he is nervous but I think he will feel better once the surgery is over and he is on the road to recovery. That has got to be better than the waiting and nervousness that he is dealing with now. I am looking forward to that too because I feel so bad for him right now.

We have had snow for a couple weeks now. I am still in the phase right now where I think it looks pretty and it’s not bothering me too much. In fact, my stud-muffin of a husband put our new multi-coloured Christmas lights on the house a couple weeks ago and I think they look exceptionally great with the snow. But I’m sure come March when the snow is still on the ground, and it’s all brown and ugly I will be sick of it. Also, despite the snow it hasn’t been too cold. The temp has been hovering around 0oC. When the temp drops to -20 then I get grumpy. I gotta say though…. CJ cleaned out the garage this year and I have been parking in there instead of in the driveway and it makes a HUGE difference to my disposition in the mornings.

So this past weekend Seb got his hair cut. I am always nervous about taking him for a hair cut cause I like his long curls so much, but then every time I see how handsome and adorable he looks with his new cut I wonder why I was apprehensive in the first place.

This is post haircut picture – and also post-nap so he has a bit of bed-head.

Here’s another pic I took for my mum – she never thinks we eat enough fruit so I had to show her our weekly fruit bowl.

Kenzie came along too and she got a little trim and got her hair curled and sparkles put in. She looked adorable. This was taken with my phone camera so not the best pic, but you get the idea.

She is growing her hair to donate to locks of love. I have noticed that her hair actually grows really fast so she’ll probably be ready within the next year. She told me at the hairdresser place that she wants to get her ears pierced. I think she’d look adorable with pierced ears but I don’t want them to hurt her, so I am on the fence a bit about whether or not to take her.

We have started listening to Christmas music at home and it’s been fun. I LOVE that the kids are the perfect age to enjoy Christmas right now. They sing and dance to the music. They are already excited about my company’s kid’s Christmas party on Saturday and I am excited to take them. And Kenzie will be singing with the junior choir in her school’s Holiday Show/Recital.

Koda the dog is doing okay. She’s a sweet thing and I can’t imagine our lives without her… yet she is a handful and more often then not we come home to find she has gotten into some sort of trouble during the day (e.g. ripping up recycling cartons, chewing the kids’ toys, etc).Luckily the Woock girls have been coming to the house in the afternoon to take Koda out and play with her so she doesn’t go stir-crazy. She is also in the process of going to “doggy school” so hopefully she will improve.

Tonight CJ and I are meeting with the Delcan folks – Brian, Candace and Gus – for a Christmas drink. I am looking forward to seeing them again. On Thursday CJ and I are taking the kids to the local high school to see the students’ performance of Grease, and on Friday CJ’s mum is coming for a pre-Christmas Christmas celebration since she will be out of town over Christmas. We are also planning to put up our Christmas tree (and decorate it) on Sunday. This gives me an excuse to go shopping soon to buy a few more Christmas ornaments. I love that I can add to our collection every year.

Anyhow… that’s a basic update. We still have a lot to do to get ready for Christmas (like buy presents – I haven’t bought a single one yet), but I am typically a last-minute kind of person so I am not too stressed. What doesn’t get done, just won’t get done. I DO want to do Christmas cards this year though, so I need to get going on that ASAP since they have to get out this weekend. I have no one’s address, so that will be the most challenging part. Wish me luck… if anyone besides me reads this, please can you comment and give me your address?! I promise to send you a card and maybe even a picture of the kids :)

Gingerbread train

2008-11-25T14:06:00.002-05:00

The kids made a gingerbread train yesterday.

The final product

Oh, and both kiddos are getting their hair cut on teh weekend. I am sad that Seb will be losing his curls, but they are getting a bit out of control....

Life Update

2008-11-14T10:49:00.000-05:00

So here I sit in my new office, able, for the first time in a long while, to freely access the internet without most of the sites being “off limits” due to stringent public sector firewalls . Today is my 10th day at the new job. I alternate between feeling completely overwhelmed and wondering whether I am a complete fraud who is soon going to be found out, and feeling pumped and excited about the future here.

The first two weeks have been busy. The company does a very thorough job of orientation. So I have met with no fewer than 5 people so far to discuss various issues such as timesheet and expense training; benefits overview; organization overview; project management/firm finances; library training, computer/VPN training etc. I still have a couple more orientation meetings set up for next week.

The guy I’m working most closely with here has also scheduled a number of meet and great meetings so he can introduce me to potential clients. And finally I went to Windsor last weekend through Monday to attend the CUTA conference and I presented on LEED for transit facilities. So it’s been a bit of a whirlwind, but it’s been good too. I like the people and I am pretty impressed with how well this company is run. It’s a tight ship here, but I see that as a good thing since we will all benefit from higher profits.

Okay, so enough about work.

Things at home are going well. Koda has adjusted well to our family and it seems like she’s always been with us. She is pretty rascally though and eats/chews whatever she can get hold of. So we need to learn to either close doors or to pick things up and put them away so she can’t get at them.

The kids rare doing well at school. Seb’s circle of friends is growing. Before he would only talk about Lily and sometimes Big Sebastian, but now it seems that he’s made a few more friends at school. CJ and I are going to see him in action next week. Every November, the JK teachers invite the parents to come and sit in the classroom and watch their child in class. I am looking forward to it. It should be fun. I think he’s doing really well with his writing and he is even learning to spell some words from kenzie.

Kenzie is doing well too. She seems much more confident this year and seems to have a good group of friends. She is doing great with her reading and writing. She has gotten involved in a number of activities including karate, gymnastics and choir. Her choir (Gr.’s 1 through 3) sang at the Remembrance Day Assembly on Tuesday and CJ and I got to see it. It was darling. I can’t wait for the Christmas recital.

So we are quickly heading in Christmas/birthday season. Kenzie wanted a Build-a-Bear party so we are doing that for her at the end of December. Sebby (unfortunately) wants a Chuck E Cheese Party. Thank goodness birthdays only happen once a year!

So there is a quick update on life to date.

SAY CHEESE

2008-11-02T16:51:00.002-05:00

I've been pretty lazy about blogging. I am almost finished my week off between jobs. It was a fun week. I went for walks with Koda every day, picked the kids up from school early, cleaned my closet and hung out and watched TV. It was a fun week. I start the new job tomorrow and to be honest I am not that nervous. I hope that’s a good sign and not that I have a false sense of security. I have been doing a bit of work this week already so maybe that’s why I’m not nervous. I’m also signed up to present at the CUTA Conference on November 10. I am presenting on LEED for Transit Terminal Design. THAT I am nervous about.

In any case, we had a really nice weekend. Halloween was super fun and yesterday and today we just had lazy hang out family days. We took Koda for a nice walk in the park today. Its been a nice slow-paced weekend. We haven’t had one of those in a while.

Oh yeah… and this weekend we discovered that Koda can be socialized. We took her to the park at 6:30 in the morning for some playtime with some other dogs. She did great and didn’t get into any fights. I think she actually has some dog friends now. That makes us all happy.

Happy Halloween

2008-11-01T15:49:00.002-04:00

Koda

2008-10-28T08:34:00.003-04:00

okay... so yesterday was an interesting day. It was my first day on 'vacation' and my first day of bonding with Koda. The day started with Koda and I walking Kenzie to school. I was really impressed with her. I should have thought of this before (but didn't) as soon as we got to the school yard we had a ton of kids running up to us asking to pet Koda. She was so good and patient and just stood there and let them all crowd around and pet her. I was really proud of her. Of course Kenzie was beaming with pride because it was her dog that all the kids were coming to see.

So after that we started to go for a walk but it started to snow (ugh) so we went home. We waited for the snow to stop and then walked around the lake. It's about a 5km walk and I was exhausted afterwards. Koda is NOT good on the leash. I had to correct her (yank her back) about every 20 seconds. She just wants to pull pull pull. By the time we got home I found that my little finger was all bruised.

anyhow... during the rest of the day she alternated between being restless and getting into stuff (she got into the recycling and tore apart a milk carton, she started chewing on any toy she got find and she evening put her paws up on the counter and tried to steal something off it) and being relaxed and sweet and loving.

Anyhow. At least I know what we are dealing with here. She has a lot of training ahead of her. BUT here's the thing. she is so wonderful. Every single one of us in this house is in love with her. She is AMAZING with kids. Kenzie was terrified of dogs a week ago... and now it's like she's grown up with Koda her whole life. I KNOW she is going to fit into our family just perfectly. CJ and I both adore her.

I think she feels right at home here.

The Woods came to visit and meet her on Sunday

Kenzie "being" a dog.

Watching TV

... like dinner

2008-10-26T06:57:00.002-04:00

and I'm done!

with my job that is. WOOT

and Koda joined us yesterday. She is wonderful. She needs some training (okay a lot of training) on the leash - she just pulls and pulls. But she is so gentle with the kids and she keeps me company and is always happy to see me even if I've only been gone for a few minutes. I adore her already and can't wait to hang out with her next week. And Kenzie, who was terrified of dogs, seems to have quickly gotten used to her and fallen in love with her.

Koda

2008-10-21T20:46:00.001-04:00

... is joining our family on Saturday.

It's October 21st

2008-10-21T16:38:00.003-04:00

and it's snowing....

on a completely different topic.... Kenzie is doing GREAT with her reading. She LOVES being able to read to Sebby and he loves it too. He's learning lots from her. He even wrote a bunch of "it" words today.... sit, bit, mit.

Along those lines, this is a conversation I just had with kenzie

Kenzie: Is shit a word?
me: yes, but it's a bad word
Kenzie: why
me: cause it means poo
Kenzie: in what language?

Find CJ

2008-10-10T18:42:00.002-04:00

CJ's been very involved in his company's United Way Program. See if you can spot him in these pictures.

f'ing depressing

2008-10-10T06:42:00.003-04:00

How is it possible that CJ and I both work our butts off 5 days a week, both of us putting in way more hours that we need to be, and yet literally hours after payday, after working through all our expenses, we are stressed about money again. I hate it. We should quit our jobs, declare bankruptcy and live off the government. ha ha ha ha ha I'm funny.

On a happier note - here's our gorgeous Boo yesterday.

In the last week

2008-10-05T07:32:00.001-04:00

- Kenzie started to learn how to ride her bike without training wheels

- Ian came over for a visit. It was full of good conversation and lots of laughs – as always.

- Kenzie won student of the month – we were so proud of her (3 years in a row… our little girl rocks). Seb was a bit upset that HE didn’t get nominated.

- Andrea came to visit with Jordana

- We went to 4th Lily’s birthday party.

- CJ had a “music night” so a bunch of ladies and kids came over to play.

He’s smitten

- Sebby and I took Gay and Lily to see the Thomas show.

- Kenzie went to Olivia’s Princess birthday party

- Doris and Angelina came over for a playdate.

- I’m pooped. Thank goodness today is another weekend day.

new job

2008-09-28T20:22:00.003-04:00

so I just got a new job. It was actually initiated through a recruiter, Chris. He called me first to see if I'd be interested in managing a new office the firm was opening in downtown Toronto. I said no because downtown Toronto is too long of a commute to do on a daily basis, especially during rush hour traffic. He then asked where I lived and when I told him, he asked me if I’d be willing to talk to the firm about a position in their head office which is actually about 15 minutes drive from my house and half a mile from CJ’s office. He started telling me about the company:
- Relatively new, small (100 people) consulting firm;
- Reputation in the industry for exceptional services (which I proceeded to verify by talking to some of their existing clients)
- Rated 4th best employer in Canada based on amazing benefits such as:
o Ability to work from home
o Flexible hours
o ability to take days off and make them up during the week without taking vacation
o Emergency daycare for all employees
o 4-day work weeks during the summer
o Annual bonuses for EVERY employee
o Flat corporate structure
o Employee-owned (shared offers to EVERY employee)
o Extra vacation days for employees who volunteer in the community
- Focused on environmentally supportive design and sustainable transportation

So of course my interest was piqued and sent over my CV. After a fairly length interview process they presented me with a fantastic offer. It’s a position that is totally exciting and challenging for me. I am excited and nervous at the same time (but that’s the way work should make you feel right? A friend of mine said to me “ if you feel comfortable in your current position, it’s probably time to make a move, because soon you’ll be bored”. Which I agree with). Not only that but the salary and benefits were pretty attractive too. So I decided to make the move. This is only my 3rd job since I graduated 15 years ago. So I don’t move around a lot and I’m nervous about starting at a new place again. But I just couldn’t pass up this opportunity.
One more thing… every one I spoke to at the company, from the receptionist, to the HR folks, to some VPs, to the president… they all exude enthusiasm, friendliness and excitement. I am totally psyched to be part of that.

So, November 3rd I’ll be starting the new job. Wish me luck.

amazing

2008-09-26T21:16:00.001-04:00

We just got back from watching these amazing kids.

I smiled and clapped and cried for the last 2 hours. If you ever get a chance to go... you must.

purge

2008-09-21T20:46:00.003-04:00

I need a major purge in my life. In every aspect. First of all I’ve realized that I am over extended so I will be purging in the area of “personal commitments”. I need to be able to focus on my family and spend time with CJ, Kenzie and Sebastian – I miss them.

School council commitments will need to go first. I sent a few folks an email this weekend to say that I will not be able to be on the executive or the council this year. I know I’ll get flak but that will pass( I hope). The next thing will be the outdoor classroom. I will make myself available when the school is ready to move forward. But I will not be chasing the teachers, principal, school board etc to get decisions made etc.

Next is the house… things need to go. I’m going crazy with all the crap we have all over….I am craving organization – I want our tupperware draw organized, our bills paid, the laundry done etc.

As soon as I can get mum (aka Omi) to take the kids for a half day, CJ and I are going to go through their toys. We are also going to go through our own things – closets, kitchen, bathrooms etc. If I haven’t used something in the last year it’s getting thrown out or given away.

This weekend CJ started us off in a huge way… he cleaned up the backyard. He took down the giant pool, put away the swinging chairs, put away the sandbox, cut down the sunflowers, pulled out the weeds etc. What a big difference in the backyard. Thanks CJ honey!

So… fingers crossed that we’ll be able to get some of this stuff done over the next couple weeks.

So, new topic. This weekend was fun. Friday night I had a ladies’ night out. On Saturday the kids had gymnastics and the Sophie came over for a visit. Then Helen invited us over to Jeff and Daphne’s (her in-laws) for some swimming. The kids had a blast swimming and I was really proud of Kenzie she is doing front crawl now. In the evening Celeste came over so that Angela and Guy could go out for dinner. So we were all pretty beat by the time we went to bed.

Today the kids and I went to the park (while CJ was working outside). Then we had naps, then Kenzie had a playdate (at Emily and Abigail’s) and finally we had dinner, baths (well the kids) and just hung out. We are now watching some sponge bob and soon it will be time for bed. Tomorrow we start another work week. There is some news in that area coming soon. ;-)

Here are some pics from this morning.

my neice

2008-09-14T18:56:00.001-04:00

typical day

2008-09-13T22:51:00.008-04:00

This morning I woke up feeling like crap. I was out with Sue, Helen, Jacque, Vikki and Bev last night and didn't get home till after midnight. I was feeling a little worse for wear when the kids woke up at 6:00am this morning. But the day was still good. When we got to gymnastics Dave asked CJ to come to a poker tournament this evening. So Helen asked what I was planning to do... since I had no plans we agreed to do something. She and Gay were going to get together already so I told them to come over and we'd order pizza and hang out. So at 6:00 they arrived... within 4 seconds we had 9 kids in the house but they headed straight downstairs to play so we were free to relax. Gay brought over B52 fixings (ha ha ha that reminded me of my early 20's) ... i brought out the giant cosmo bottle. We called Sue and told her to come over. Soon we had a party going on. here we are...

the ladies.

the kids

It was s great evening. it's now 11:00. The last guests just left, CJ just got home after having a great evening. The kids are still awake but being good.

A few fun things to remember... Helen's "green" garlic bread and her losing her car keys (in her purse, locked in her car).

and here are a couple videos.

school

2008-09-13T08:54:00.001-04:00

Kenzie got perfect on her first spelling test

Sebby is already doing great!

various

2008-09-11T21:11:00.002-04:00

1. I've been pretty emotional today. I cried when I talked to my neighbour on the street. I cried when I read an email from Helen. I cried when the kids were acting up and trying my patience.

2. I honestly don't know if anyone other than me reads these posts... lol. In case anyone does and you are interested in buying some eco-friendly products, can you look here? Our school will get a portion of all sales from this link and the money is going towards out outdoor classroom so I am hoping some folks will consider buying something from here.

3. I actually had this crazy thought today - that I actually like working with Mr. RT.

4. Tomorrow's friday. In the evening we are doing "bean-counting" (counting and tallying money from the hot lunch program) and then going for a drink. I am looking forward to that (more the latter part).

5. I feel really anxious and unsettled at work these days.

Playdate!

2008-09-08T21:33:00.003-04:00

what do you think Seb is thinking?

kids' celebrity junkie

2008-09-06T13:32:00.002-04:00

I have a confession (or two)...

1. I really like the Miley Cyrus song "7 things"

2. I am excited to watch the VMAs tomorrow and I really hope Britney performs and I hope she kicks ass!

First day of School (2008)

2008-09-02T11:24:00.002-04:00

So there we have it. Both our kiddos are now officially “in school”.

Today was the first day of school. Kenzie was a bit nervous about being in grade 1. I understand that. It’s a big change from kindergarten. In kindergarten have recess in the “kindergarten pen” – basically a fenced in play area that keep the kindergarteners in their own area away from the rest of the older kids. They are also given more support once the school day ends – i.e. parents are expected to pick the kids up at the school or, alternatively the kids are assigned a bus monitor (an old student), who takes them by the hand and leads them to their school bus, where they are seated right behind the driver. In grade one though, all those protective measures are no longer there. Kenzie will now be going to school full days, 5 days a week. She will have recess with all the other students in grade 1 through 8. She will be expected to take care of herself.

So it didn’t surprise me when she was a bit apprehensive. Things got a bit better when she found out last week who her teacher would be. Mrs H. was also her SK teacher but was moved this year tpo teach grade 1. So Kenzie was thrilled to be with Mrs H. again. It was also great to find out that she was in the same class as her friends, Zoe, Emily and Mark.

Now Sebby, was nothing but excited. No worries with this little guy. He couldn’t get to school fast enough. He was so proud to have his own backpack. Yesterday he had practiced putting on his new (light-up Spiderman) indoor schools and writing his name.

So at 7:40 this morning we headed out and walked to school. But first I had to take a few pictures.

Walking to school I thought again how lucky we are to live so close to the school. It made me think about how nice it would be to work from home or be a stay-at-home mom. The kids could come home for lunch or walk home after school.

Look at my super duper handsome hubby. (and Kenzie isn’t crying – she just has the sun in her eyes)

Once we got to school, we found out that Sebastian actually only had a half-day today (orientation). So he was devastated that he had to wait another 2 hours before going to his class with his buddy Big Sebastian who is in SK. But it did allow us to focus on Mackenzie. WE had a bit of time to walk around the school before the kids actually went into class.

Our little Boo did great. When the bell rang, she marched right into school with her friends.

I can’t wait to see her after school to see how her day went.

Soon it was back to school for Sebby. All the JK kids and parents met in the library. The kiddos were walked to their classes by the teacher’s assistants. Sebby was so sad to be leaving me…

Okay maybe not… I know he’ll have a great time. I can’t wait to pick him up to see how his day was.

Newmarket Jazz & Blues Festival

2008-08-25T19:56:00.004-04:00

When our adult-only plans for Saturday night fell through CJ suggested taking the kids to a local jazz night. It was great. The musicians were wonderful, the evening was warm and we just had a great time. I wish we could've stayed longer (Kenzie started to get antsy so we left around 9:00).

This guy reminded both CJ and I so much of Tom - both in sound and a bit in looks too.

Butterfly Garden Update

2008-08-17T08:32:00.002-04:00

So, we headed over to the garden yesterday. It looks wonderful. Happy, colourful, whimsical. Just the type of place I'd like to go and hang out with a book or a good friend or just myself to think. I hope the kids enjoy it when they start school in a couple weeks.

Cedars Cottage Resort 2008

2008-08-16T19:01:00.009-04:00

Sunday August 10: So we’ve been here at the cottage just over 24 hours and it is wonderful. Maybe it’s because CJ and I met with a counselor on Friday and she helped us (or maybe mainly me) realize that it’s important for us to get Sebby going to bed by himself and sleeping through the night. So CJ and I started a new bedtime routine 2 days ago. It goes like this… We put Sebby in bed, read him a story and then he’s expected to lie down and go to sleep. If he gets up we put him back in his room without talking. If he throws a fit.. we ignore it. We tell him that we’ll check on him in 10 or 15 minutes and we do… every 10 minutes we go back to his room so he knows we’re still around and he’s safe. Anyhow… Friday night sucked – it was 11:15 by the time he passed out. Last night was MUCH better and today at naptime time it was PERFECT… he climbed into his bed and went to sleep for a 2 hour nap.

Anyhow, long story short… it has made me happy that we’ve had one successful bedtime scene. It also made me happy that we had good weather today. It was supposed to be rainy all weekend and then clear up tomorrow. Yesterday, true enough was very rainy. We mainly hung out in the cottage and played games and watched TV.

Today though, despite a few random showers it was sunny and nice for most of the day. We have done lots of fishing, swimming in the pool and we even took out a couple canoes. We also hit the game room and the kids and I visited the alpacas (they now have 6 alpacas, not just 2).

Now we are back and CJ is almost ready with dinner (bbq’d burgers, corn, salad, and fries) - YUM. It’s 7:15.

After dinner we are going to play some cards and then try to have a successful bedtime again. I am not holding my breath but am hopeful. So there you have it. Day number 1 of our family holiday and it’s been good. Oh yeah… I’m reading a book called “Eat, Pray, Love” and I am really enjoying it. I think one of my favourite things to do it read. I don’t think that before kids I ever appreciated enough the ability to read a book. Just having the time to read is a luxury… then being able to be in a completely different world and get into the book is so cool. Like watching a movie – but better. Finally… the Olympics are on and I love watching gymnastics so much.. :)

Monday August 11: Thoughts of the day:
- Exercise makes for better naps/bedtimes (generally)

- I am sad to say that I think I am harder on Kenzie than I am on Sebastian
- Maybe the thing that I think I am too scared to pursue, is not what I want after-all
- I sometimes take my husband for granted – especially when the kids take all my energy and focus. He deserves better
- I am tired
- I envy the author of the book I am reading
- I need to laugh more and sigh less

Tuesday August 12:

The kids and I went to feed the alpacas. Kenzie was a bit timid but Seb got right in there and put his hand out for the alpacas to take the apples. The alpacas really like apples.

Kenzie caught a fish today. Right off the beach. She was so proud.

I went swimming for the first time this week today. It was very fun. Despite being embarrassed about being in a bathing suit. Looking forward to going again this afternoon.

I found a little dolls baby bottle in the fridge today and it made me just want to hug Kenzie. Sometimes I treat her like she is much older than she is. I need to remind myself that she is just a 5 year old girl.

I am still so envious of the author of the book I’m reading “Eat, Pray, Love”. I mean how luxurious to have the financial ability and lack of responsibilities to be able to take a year of your life to travel the world and find yourself. I wish I did.

Omi also came to visit - she arrived around lunch time. This is us having dinner together.

My two men.

Wednesday August 13: It’s been a day of ups and downs. I’ll start with last night (one of the downs). Last night the kids had smores after dinner. Altough they enjoyed them at the time.....

...I think Sebby has a hard time with sugar before bed. To make matters worse he was in a ”no-Omi” mood for most of the day. When it was time for bed we had a hard time getting him to sleep. He was just wired – but overtired too. He kept insisting that he did NOT want Omi sleeping in his room. Finally I lay down with him (a big no no according to the counselor) but he fell asleep really fast. I ended up staying up really late watching Olympics. When it was time for mum to go to sleep she said she’d sleep on the other bunk bed in Seb’s room. I figured that he was asleep so it would be okay.

She proceeded to go into his room, turn off all the lights and sleep on the other bunk. (Seb always wants a light on… whether it’s a night-light, a table lamp or the hallway light – it just can’t be dark). So it’s not surprising that he woke up in the middle of the night quite distraught. Not only was Omi in his room but it was dark and when he woke up she was short with him (told him to go back to sleep) instead of being comforting. So I came down and lay with him. He was tossing and turning but finally fell asleep again. A few times he’d cry in his sleep :(

I couldn’t sleep so I tried to tip toe out but he woke up and wanted to come. So I was in the living room trying to pull out the sofa-bed, Seb was hovering around talking way too loudly and Omi stormed out of the room saying “I am going upstairs to lie with Kenzie. I can’t stand watching him manipulate you like that”. Ugh… she is so dramatic and just sucks the life out of me sometimes and makes me feel like a shit mom. In this case though I knew she was wrong. CJ came downstairs to hang with Sebby (who was now wide awake – at about 4:00 am) and I went back to bed. But I couldn’t sleep cause I was so angry with my mom.

The morning was a bit stressful with mum and I hardly speaking and kind of tip toeing around each other. I could feel her just watching me interact with the kids. Just judging. Always judging.

A few “up” moments were when CJ and Kenzie put on a few puppet shows (with puppets that Kenzie made). It was really sweet but what I loved most of all was how into it Sebby was and how heartily he laughed when – for example, when the cat lost her head (maybe you had to be there).

I also enjoyed playing the connect the dot game with Seb. Then we went into town to go for a walk but the weather was kinda crappy (rainy). So we headed back to the cottage for lunch. CJ stopped along the way to pick up some fries from the chippie van. I just knew that my mom was probably sitting in her car “judging” what bad parents we were for giving our kids crap food.

Anyhow, we got through lunch and then I read Seb a story and told him to take a nap – he was out like a light. CJ got Kenzie to sleep and then he and I took a wonderful afternoon nap. Omi left to go home while we were sleeping. I woke up at 4:00 to the sound of CJ playing the guitar and singing a beautiful melody downstairs. It sounded so warm and comforting and happy. It was one of those moments that made me so happy. In any case, I realized that immediately I felt SO MUCH BETTER! It’s amazing what a relief it was to have my mum out of the cottage. I really need to deal with the issues I have with my mom… I made myself a G&T and hung out on the deck reading my book in the sun. Kenzie was watching CJ play his guitar and Seb was still sleeping. CJ decided to take Kenz for a swim and I hung around until Seb woke up (after a 4 hour nap) and then brought him to the pool. Kenzie and I are now back at the cottage relaxing and CJ and Seb are still swimming. When they get back we’ll have some dinner and hang out.

Right now the part of the book that I am reading is dealing with getting rid of negative thoughts, being able to forgive yourself, get rid of guilt, don’t harbor resentment etc. It seems very appropriate. It’s hard to do though. Thank goodness for CJ – he is truly a gift to me. So kind and solid. I know that sounds so corny and cheesy but it is so true.

August 14 – 16: The rest of the week was nice. Thursday was a fairly lazy day.

We went swimming in the morning. Then had naps, then swam again in the afternoon. It was the perfect, lazy, do whatever-you-feel-like-whenever-you-feel-like kinda day.

Kenzie and I went for a walk while CJ and Seb went to see the alpacas again.

Before dinner we went into town and let the kiddos play at the local playground. Then we hit the local library because I wanted to check what was playing at the drive-in theatre that was in the next town over. Unfortunately the movies that were playing were a bit scary for the kids so we decided to skip the drive-in and go out for dinner instead.

On Friday we started the day with a swim. Shortly after lunch Helen and the kids came to visit. They spent the rest of the day there. It was filled with the usual – fishing, playing outside, swimming and a trip to the local dairy parlour. CJ made us a yummy dinner and then the Woods left around 8:30. We were pooped.

This morning we woke up early. CJ and I were anxious to pack up and get home. Being away is nice, but by the end of the week we were very ready to be back at our own house which was a bit less sandy and a bit less cramped.

It was a great week but I am really glad to be home and looking forward to sleeping in my own bed now.

CJ's Birthday

2008-08-05T20:46:00.003-04:00

It was CJ's birthday on Saturday. Happy Birthday Honey - I love you with all my heart!!!

I think he actually had a bit of a hard time with the 4-0. I hope he soon realizes that 40 is not a big deal at all and that he is still young and energetic and we have the best of our lives still ahead of us (think - two kids in school with no daycare payments; - watching the kids develop into their own little people with their personal interests and personalities and strengths and passions; - being able to watch adult TV shows :) - kids moving out of the house and the two of us having time to hang out and do our own thing; - the house not being a disaster all the time; - retirement with a condo somewhere warm; - two Harley’s so we can tour the continent together; - grandkids .... ).

In any case, it was one of the first weekends that wasn't jam packed with plans. Most of our friends here were out of town. The weekend started off great with Katrina coming over to baby-sit the kids while CJ and I went out for dinner (we tried out a brand new sushi restaurant and then went for a drink at a local pub). The kids adore Katrina and we totally trust her so it was so great to just go out and not stress about the kids, and we just talked and talked… I think I talked CJ’s ear off. But we hardly ever get a chance to have a conversation at home so it felt like we had a lot to catch up on. It was fun.

On Saturday, CJ’s actual birthday, the kids and I let him sleep in a bit. I made a yummy breakfast and the kids got their cards all ready for him. As soon as he came to the kitchen he was bombarded with excited kids wanting him to open his presents – which they actually did for him. He only got a few small things. I have ordered him a really cool stunt kite and it’s on it’s way but it didn’t arrive in time. Hopefully it will be here today. I also really wanted to get him an Adirondack chair tet-a-tet but we are so broke right now that that might have to wait until later this month or even next year.

In any case, the rest of the weekend was nice. On Saturday we hung out, went for a walk, and just puttered around. On Sunday we went to my mum’s house and the kids and I spent the day with her while CJ went on to London to visit him mom. Unfortunately it was a bit of a guilt-inducing visit for him which makes me so sad for him – he doesn’t deserve that. But he got back to Omi’s at about 4:30 and we had a wonderful birthday dinner for him.

Then my mum told CJ and I to go out and have a drink somewhere and she’d put the kids to bed. So, for the second time in one weekend, CJ and I went out to a pub and had a drink and chatted. I think that both of us have actually been stressing quite a bit lately about money lately. We have made some pretty big investments in the house in the last year (finishing the basement and doing the front patio) so that’s left us a bit strapped. It’s nice that we finally talked about that and we are both on the same page and anxious to get our situation sorted out.

Anyhow… so we all slept over at my mum’s on Sunday night and then came home yesterday morning. It was a long weekend (Simcoe Day) so we were off work yesterday. We had another lazy day. I had a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. The kids both slept for almost 4 hours. CJ had fun playing guitar and videos games. Then around dinnertime, we decided to head out on “adventures”. We ended up going for a long walk (kids had their bikes) around the lake. We stopped off and said hi to Bev and John and the continued around the lake to the Woods house. I took some pictures of my favourite houses along the way. It would be so cool to live on a lake. I think that is one of my dreams. Maybe when CJ and I retire, we’ll have to sell our house and find a small house on a lake in the middle of nowhere. In any case, the kids did great. Our walk took almost 2 hours and covered probably about 5 miles. The kids did great and really didn’t complain at all. I was pooped by the time we got home though and then, it was bedtime and the long weekend was over. Here are some pics from our walk....

some of my favourite houses along the way...

So not only is it a short work week, but we leave for the cottage on Saturday. I am really excited about that. It will be great to just hang out with the family and relax. The cottage is only about 1.5 hours from our house so we will be having a few day and over-night visitors (i.e. Helen, Sue & the kids, Omi, and Opa – who is coming into town tomorrow). I can’t wait. The only bad thing is that after the week at the cottage, the summer is almost over. It has gone by so fast and I will be sad when the fall weather comes.

I'll leave you with these two cuties...