feeling very low

I feel so down today.

1. It's Monday and when I left for work today Seb was still sleeping. Time is going by too fast, the kids are growing too quickly and I miss being with them. I had such an amazing time playing with the two of them this weekend. My arms ache to hug them right now.

2. My mother. She has convinced herself that something is seriously wrong because Kenzie doesn't want to talk to her on the phone. It seems like there is nothing I can do to convince her that this is normal behaviour. She is so upset and seriously pissed off at me for telling her that it's normal.

3. I witnessed two events yesterday. Once when Kenzie was playing with her new toy phone. Seb wanted it and when Kenzie took it away he threw a fit - she gave in and gave him her new toy. Same thing happened when she had a friend over in the evening and the friend wanted the toy Kenzie was playing with. She gave in and gave up *her* toy to appease the friend. I want her to have a certain sense of entitlement. Of course I want her to play fair, but this is beyond fair. She is giving in when she shouldn't. I want her to put herself first. The most upsetting thing is that I am afraid she is learning this behaviour from me. I KNOW she is learning it from me and I hate that. I neeed to change but I don't know how.

4. I was trying to be honest and I upset people who I love. (cryptic, I know... sorry)

oh yah... I forgot pictures. Our great friends Dawn and Darwin (who are also the kids' Godparents) came over yesterday with Gabbie to watch the game (Go Seahawks!!), eat pizza and hang out. The girls had a blast playing together. It was fun.



Darwin wrestling the girls.




This picture cracks me up....


worn out