Good Bye Koda

Koda, I can’t sleep.  Its too quiet. I’m used to being soothed to sleep by the sound of your steady breath, only to be interrupted once on a while by you changing position….. followed by a big loud sigh, before falling back into your steady breathing.  For the last 7 years you have slept beside me (initially on the floor, or in later years right on the bed with me). You were a funny dog… coming to us 3 and half years into your life already.  Your former families are the ones who lost out. I remember when you came to our house the first time for our home “interview”, you put your paws up on the counter looking for food.  I should have known that was a sign of things to come.  The beginning of 7 years of you stealing food whenever you could. Stealing food, running away, chasing geese and squirrels. You weren’t exactly the best behaved dog…. Twice you got yourself into trouble and needed help. When you fell through the ice on the lake – oh my GOD was I scared.  I still remember the relief I felt when you were finally out of the icy water, back at home in front of the fireplace.  Then there was the time you took off after the geese and got your leash tangled in something at the bottom of the swamp. No, I was not happy with you that day.  But I would trudge into the swamp all over again to save you. This time, though, I couldn’t save you. 

Despite your less-than-stellar-tendencies, you were gentle. And loyal. You were always the one who came to comfort anyone in our house when they were sad.  You let Sebby drive his cars and trains over “Mt. Koda”. When you ran away, you would often be found at the school waiting for the kids to come out. You were the mother to all the animals in the house… getting upset if any of them fought or played too rough. You were full of love and joy.  The word “walk” would always result in perked ears and a dash to the front door with tail wagging (no matter what the weather)

Even towards the end when you didn’t have much energy, your tail would still wag when we walked (albeit much slower than we used to).

 

Thank you for being my friend for so long. Thank you for choosing us and for giving us so much love.  I hope you are somewhere wonderful now.  I hope your aches and pains have vanished and that your eyesight is back.  I hope you are surrounded by rolling hills and lakes full of ducks to chase.  I hope you have all the treats your heart desires. I love you.

Kenzie's room

So last week I decided to get this blog made into a book. I spent a lot of time writing my blog post when the kids were younger. There are some great stories and memories in this blog that I didn't want to lose if blogger.com ever goes away. So I order a book - actually 3 books because of the volume of posts I had. I'm looking forward to them arriving and being able to relive some of those earlier years with the kids.

 Anyhow, doing that got me thinking that I should blog again. I always enjoyed it and I think that in the absence of blogging I've started to put way too much stuff on facebook and I know its annoying to many people so I am going to try to curb the "facebook zeal" a bit and put that energy into blog posts instead.

 So to start off again, I decided to write about Kenzie's room.

You see her room has a LOT of stuff in it. Especially compared to Seb's room which has a bed, a dresser and book shelf and pretty much nothing else.  We are constantly  telling Kenz to clean her room, which I admit she does do regularly. Today I walked in there to get some random thing (I cant even remember what it was).  I looked around and realized how much that room represents her. The posters on the walls, the toys around the room, the way she organizes things, the people in her pictures.... they all say so much about her.  For example, her American Girl things....

Not only does she have 7 (yes, you read right, she has SEVEN American Girl dolls) but she also has a ton of outfits and shoes, beds for all of them (some hand made, some bought) - each with mattresses, pillows and blankets, a horse, table/chairs, air balloon etc. I know that sounds like she is so terribly spoiled, but if only you could see how well she takes care of them all.  And its not like she spends time with only the newest doll  and neglects the rest - she is somehow able to spread her time and love equally to each doll.  She also understand that she needs to take care of them.  Several times I know she has been exhausted and wanted to go to bed, but first she changed each of her dolls into their PJs and put them each gently to bed, before allowing herself to go to bed. I know that there are other girls her age (her friends) who have no interest in playing with dolls.  I am so pleased to see that Kenz doesn't "hide" her love of dolls, or feel embarrassed about it (except maybe in front of the boys in her class.  Some people may even say she lacks maturity, but I believe that she is just right for a 10 year old girl.  She will start being interested in more adult things soon enough.  I am savouring this time of innocence right now.

Another interesting thing about her room is that even though from the doorway it looks like a hoarders room, she actually has everything well organized. everything has a place and she knows exactly where to find everything.  Case in point, one morning this week I asked her for a safety pin... within seconds, she reach behind a box on her book shelf and pulled out a small box of safety pins.  I never would have found them.

Finally, if you look around her room you can spot several items that reflect her love of people and animals. She has pictures of her brother, friends and grandparents in frames all around her room. Of course, her hamsters are in their cage on top of her book shelf. And she has posters of puppies and kittens, and a calendar of little animals in funny scenarios on her wall. She not only loves people and animals but she is kind and caring towards them. When we got her hamsters she promised she would take really good care of them.  I nodded my head knowing full well that it would last 2 maybe 3 weeks before she lost interest.  I am happy to say that 4 or 5 months later she still plays with them regularly, cleans their cage every week and feeds them and gives them new water on a regular basis.

And she makes things. She loves art and she’s creative and she’s good at making stuff. See the barn she made for the horse in the picture below, or the box she made for keeping her pen pal letters in (picture above). Today she cobbled together a paper towel roll, some construction paper, some marbles, glue paint and scissors, and voila - a jewellery holder to keep her earrings and charm bracelets organized.

 Anyhow, I guess this is one way of explaining what a great kid she is. She is kind, loving, responsible and interesting. I love her with all my heart and feel so blessed that she is our daughter. 

I love you Miss Kenzie Boo… and I always will. Oh, and clean your room. J

Upper canada chorus - newest chorister

Kenzie auditioned for the Upper Canada Children's Chorus today. She had to go in the the audition room herself where she did vocal exercises, learned part of a new piece, and sung a prepared song (Oh Canada) for the choir director and one of the teachers. After that I was invited into the room to talk to everyone. They said that she had a beautiful voice, could hit the high notes and that she responded really well to instruction. At first I thought they were being kind and were going to "let her down easy". They told her right there that she was accepted into the choir, that she was "would fit beautifully into the choir" and could choose her rehearsal location.

I am so proud of her. I read that over 500 students auditioned in the fall and they only accepted 160. Since this is mid-season, I was told beforehand that they did not have many spots available, so i feel that its an even bigger accomplishment. I would have been just as proud if she didn't make it (given how shy she is this was quite a big deal for her). She was so nervous - by the time I got into the room she was so flushed and "blotchy" because of nerves, but I guess she did great. she is so proud of herself which makes me just so so so happy. I am sorry for bragging. But I am just so pleased for her. I know that she is sensitive and shy but she has been working so hard this year at facing her fears (tough swimming lessons, going to PRIDE, girl guides, trying out for the volleyball team etc) that it is especially rewarding to see her so pleased and proud of herself.

try blogging again

It's December 29th, 2011. One of the things I would like to do in the upcoming year is blog again. I haven’t been very good at it lately. I’m not sure why – maybe because I’ve been making updates in facebook. But I get the feeling that I am one of those annoying people that post way too much on facebook so I will try to post mainly here and less on facebook (except to respond to others).

So.. to bring you up to speed. Things here are relatively good. I’ve been feeling depressed lately though. Not exactly sure why. Could be…. my weight, money issues, Kenz’s social struggles, or Seb’s constant challenges at school. But to be honest, normally those things wouldn’t bring me down as much as I am…. I truly think that I have major depression issue. But last time I talked to my doctor about it she prescribed me some different medication and I cried for 3 weeks until I stopped taking the new meds.

So…. I am hoping that 2012 is a great year and a turning point. Here are a few things I would like to accomplish over the next year.

1. Get my depression under control – beat it.
2. Lose weight so that I am a “healthy” weight.
3. Become a stricter, more consistent parent.
4. Spend more time with CJ (just him and me).
5. Give the kids healthier meals.
6. Spend more time with the kids just playing.
7. Get our financial situation in order so I don’t stress so much about money.

I also want to focus more on the things that I am lucky to have and less on things that shouldn’t matter so much. So, to start, here is a list of things I am grateful for.

1. A wonderful loving husband.
2. Two great kids who are kind, loving, smart, funny and healthy.
3. A job that I enjoy with people I like and respect.
4. An extended family that is kind and loving.
5. A beautiful house that keep us warm and dry and comfortable and safe.
6. Wonderful friends.

That’s it for today….. Here’s to a great 2012!