Getting excited

In less than 40 hours we will be on the road on our way to the coast. This is the first "vacation" CJ and I have had since our honeymoon.

Kenzie and I will be picking up Omi (my mum) a the airport tonight. Tomorrow Mum will be watching the kids to let CJ get everything packed and ready for the trip.

I really hope we have decent weather. I don't mind cold or windy, I just don't want it to rain the whole time we are there. I also hope that 'we can all just get along'.

Woo Hoo!

I'm been getting a ton of stuff done at the office today. I have even completed a couple assignments that my client left (she went on vacation on Monday) saying "if you find some extra time on your hands maybe you can do some of this... but please don't worry about it if you can't". So she'll be psyched when she gets back.

Look how much weight CJ has lost!

It's incredible!!!

slept through the night

P9260021
Originally uploaded by karenandcj.

He must be feeling better. He slept right through the night. I am so glad. I hope he gets lots of sleep today. He has some major catching up to do.

for the wicked, no sleep

ha ha...that title was for you, CJ Honey.

we are all running on empty today (it was a rough night). Taking Seb to the doctor's as soon as they open (he's had a fever all night).

Keep your fingers crossed that it's something the doctor can 'fix' and that Seb sleeps today.

edited to add: CJ just called from the doctor's. It's a double ear infection :( The doctor prescribed antibiotics and numbing drops. I hope Seb starts to feel better soon.

it's killing me

Seb is in his room crying right now. It's 9:30 pm. His normal bedtime is 8:00. He is so exhausted, hardly slept today and doesn't want to sleep now. But he looks so tired. red rimmed eyes. he NEEDS sleep. Poor little guy can't breath through his nose at all. He won't eat. I hate hate hate letting him cry. It's 10 times worse when he's sick. Please let him fall asleep soon.

edited to add: SUCCESS! Of course, I only lasted the 4 minutes it took to write this original post before I went to his room to get him. We stood in the dark living room, rocking back and forth, looking out the window. Within 5 minutes I felt his body relax in my arms and he started the soft moaning that he does before he falls asleep. mmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmm soon he was asleep.

a funny side note. If people could only see some of the things I do for the benefit of these kids (e.g. dancing is a prime example). just now is another good example. I very gently laid Seb in his crib (so as not to wake him up) and right away he rolled on his stomach and started to sit up. IMMEDIATELY I dropped to the floor on all fours so he didn't see me. (hoping that if he didn't see me he'd go back to sleep). I held my breath listening. I heard a little bit of movement followed by some long deep 'sleeping' breaths. I VERY SLOWLY, lifted up my head and peeked over the side of his crib until I could see that he was asleep. For some odd reason I then crawled out of his room on my hands and knees until I reached the door.

a strange day

it's been a strange day today. With both kids and CJ sick, we haven't been up to much. We've been lazing around. We've had some nice snuggling moments, so exciting "first crawl" moments...

and some very draining "sick" moments. Sebastian is so pathetic... poor guy has just been moaning today. He's sleepy but won't sleep. His nose is running like a tap but of course he doesn't know how to blow it so we've been flushing it with saline solution which he hates (i don't blame him)

Kenzie has been a good kid. She's helping us take care of 'Bastian', but she is sick too. She's wanted to watch Sponge Bob all day today. I think we saw about 10 episodes. She fell asleep on the couch.

Back from my trip

Eastern WA ITS Sep 2005 149
Originally uploaded by karenandcj.

I am so glad to be back. I don't even know how to describe it. I just feel "off" when I am away from my family. It was such a nice feeling to pull into the driveway yesterday afternoon and to see CJ walk out to give me a hug.

When I got home Kenzie was still napping. I went into her room and she opened her eyes a bit, saw me, and then closed them again and she got this sleepy smile on her face. I lay in bed with her and snuggled until she woke up.

Last night we all went out for sushi.. or "chewsy" as Kenzie calls it. The waitresses at the restaraunt came over at least a dozen times to tell us how good the kids were being and how cute they are. Made me proud. Kenzie was a happy camper eating the entire bowl of edemame, followed by a bowl of mago ice cream. Sebastian enjoyed chewing on Edamame and eating rice with teryaki sauce.

Kenzie cracks me up. Her newest thing these days is to do something so KNOWS she's not supposed to do and then follow that by looking at you with very serious eyes and saying (quite dramatically, I should add) "I AM SOOOOO SORRY". She knows I can't get mad when she does that... but she is starting to use that to get away with way more than she should.

The picture to the right was taken on our drive home yesterday. Washington State is so pretty.

one day down...

... and one more day to go. At this time tomorrow I'll be home. Thank goodness for hotels with free wireless internet.

Tonight I was talking to CJ on the phone....

me: Honey, the crack in the windshield spread about 12 inches

CJ: oh no.

Kenzie (in the back ground): what's oh no... what's oh no Daddy?

CJ: It's okay dear, the window in mummy's car broke. It's okay. We'll get it fixed.

Kenzie: The car's broken? Did I do that?

Oh, my baby girl. She sounded so sweet. I wanted to hug her and tell that she is my little ragamuffin boo-bug and that NO, she did not break the window... goof! I can't wait to see them all tomorrow.

Grumpy face

My friend just sent me this picture taken a couple weeks ago. I love Kenzie's grumpy face... she is so thinking "I hate having my picture taken. LET ME GO!".

stressed

It's Sunday night and everyone is in bed. I can't sleep. My mind is racing thinking about a couple meetings I have to lead this week (on Tuesday and Wednesday). Not only am I stressed about the actual meetings (new clients, new technical area, new geographic area, long meetings) but they are out of town so I will be away from home on Tuesday night. I HATE being away from home. I think back to when I lived in Glasgow for three years for work, or when I first came to Seattle (again, for work). I was so loney & homesick. I am so glad I don't ever have to do something like that again. But as a result I am so attached to my home and family. I am just counting down the hours until my meeting on Wednesday is over and I am on my way home... then I'll be into the final stretch before our vacation.

When I have to do things like this for work it really makes me think about what I could do differently. Staying home full-time is not an option. I need to find my passion . If I have to work 50 hours a week, I may as well enjoy it, or at least feel fulfilled as a result.

The other day I thought I had decided what I wanted to do. I told a couple friends and their luke-warm to outright negative reactions ("you don't have the education", "it would be a salary cut"... etc) made me rethink things and doubt myself.

I wish I could be one of those inspirational people who does something that no one thought was possible. I am my worst enemy because of my lack of confidence.

okay whine over.

- Karen out.

fall weather

It is totally fall weather here. You know when the air is crisp and cool and you can wear sweaters and feel perfectly comfortable outside? The kids and I went for a walk to the park today.

A great day

If this doesn't reflect a great day, I don't know what does.

have you ever wondered ...

...what they are up to when they are TOO QUIET?

the green spoon

P9170001
Originally uploaded by karenandcj.

Do you know what's so special about this spoon? No?! Well, I'll tell you... it's green. And green is my favourite colour. Mackenzie knows that my favourite colour is green. So anytime she sees something green she wants to give it to me as a gift.

This morning she was looking at her spoons. She gave me the green one and took an orange one for herself. Then she took my green one back.

we went on with life....

a while later she realized that I didn't have my spoon. She looked for it EVERYWHERE. Behind the couch, under the couch, in the kitchen, in the family room, in the living room, on her bed, under her bed ....

until finally, from my bedroom, I heard "MUUUUUUMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!". She came running to me with the proudest and most excited expression on her face. "Mummy, Mummy!!!! I have a present for you!". And with that she bestowed upon me this gift. It is the most fabulous spoon I have EVER gotten as a gift.

I can smell the weekend!

It's Friday afternoon, 3:00 pm. I have finished all my critical work items and I am ready to start the weekend fun.

This morning we didn't have anything planned for the weekend. Now it's chalked full of fun things. Tonight, we have decided to go out for sushi. I love the stuff. I could eat sushi every day. yum yum yum. and I love watching Kenzie eat her edemame. She concetrates so hard getting those little beans out of the pods. Every once in a while I'll see one go flying across my field of vision. When I look over at Kenzie she is looking towards the trajectory path with a really shocked and perplexed expression on her face (as if to say... "how the hell did that happen!?")

Other activities planned for the weekend include a stamping party, visit from a girlfriend, possible adventure to the Penguin movie, and possible swimming excursion on Sunday afternoon.

If CJ and I get any quiet time we have a few Survivor episodes to catch up on :)

All in all a good time shall be had by us all I'm sure.

handsome and stander

Here is Handsome with the Boo.


Here's the stander.


and here are the two most incredible little people.

more random thoughts

1. I am so proud of CJ. He has lost over 35 lbs! he is looking..... GOOOOOOOOOOOD! ;-)

2. I just found that one of the teas in the office kitchen is call vanilla nut creme. I just made myself a cup with milk and sugar and .... YUMMY!!

3. I am feeling very "fall"-like. I think it's time to start trading casseroles with my friend Karen again. (we stopped during bbq season)

4. In 15 days we will be at our beachfront rental home on the Oregon coast YIPPEE

5. What did we ever do before computers? I remember when I started with my current company back in 1993, I was sent to Glasgow, Scotland. There, we shared two PCs between an office of 8 engineers. I couldn't do that now.

6. I spilled coffee on my T-shirt in the bus today. I am trying to keep my jacket closed to cover it up... but my jacket is not meant to be buttoned up - it looks silly.

7. I went out for drinks with "the ladies" last night. It was so much fun. I miss that so much. I hope we get to do that more often...

8. I wonder if Mackenzie will ever be a brownie. I bet she'd look so darn cute in a brownie uniform... or is it girl scouts now? (I don't want to be non-PC).

9. I've been feeling really really stressed lately. I don't like that.

10. Survivor starts tomorrow. YAY!!!

dancing

I am home this morning because I have a luncheon to go to that's close to my house.... no point going into the office just to come back here 3 hours later.

Anyhow, Kenzie and I just had a great dancing session. She'd pick a CD, I'd play my favourite song, and we danced. It was mucho fun! :)

Isn't it great that being a mom allows us to just let loose and dance without a care in the world about what we look like doing it ha ha ha

I am honoured

My sister asked me to be her matron of honour. I feel so 'honoured'. I started to cry when she asked me. She also asked if Kenzie would be their flower girl.

I am so happy for Andrea and Chris. I can't wait for their wedding. I am going to be a blubbering mess. :)



Now, onto the important stuff... Kenzie and I need dresses. Yay shopping!!!!!!

Go Buckeyes

so we're watching the Ohio State vs. Texas U game right now. Kenzie just jumped up on the couch wearing only her OSU football shirt and her underpants and shouted at the TV "GO BUCKEYES... RUN FASTER!!!".

I wish I had a picture. But this one will have to do.

Roo and Tigger

sushi and tigger

First of all.. .I received this picture via email this afternoon (see below). Daycare doesn't hold a candle to this. It doesn't even come remotely close. Our kids and I are so so so lucky that CJ agreed to stay home and be a SAHD. We are very lucky indeed.



This evening, Kenzie and I went to meet some friends for sushi, while the boys stayed home to be men (i.e. watch sports on TV). I was so proud of that little girl. She sat at the table eating edemame and chicken, and drinking her applejuice like such a big girl. One of my friends even whispered to me that she was being so good. It made me so proud.

Edemame rocks. I swear those little pods kept her occupied for an hour.

When we got home Tugboat was asleep already. I miss him. Can't wake to cuddle with him tomorrow morning. Anyhow, we got home and Kenzie was thrilled to find out that her Tigger costume had arrived. She had to put it on right away. She's the cutest Tigger I've ever seen.



After we got the costume off her (she didn't let go of it), she had a little Daddy-cuddle while we watched a bit of TV.



We then read books and kissed her goodnight. She is now sleeping in her bed snuggling with her Tigger costume. How much do you want to bet she'll be wearing it all day tomorrow?

got a lift from the bus stop

Today I left work a bit early. I normally leave at 5:00. Today I left at 4:00. As I was leaving our office manager told me that CJ had just called and to call him on my way out.

So I got on the bus and called him. He told me that he and the kids were about to head out to the park when Kenzie said "I have an idea!" (she has a lot of ideas these days) "we go pick up mummy from work".

He was calling to see if I wanted a lift. I said that I was on the bus and somewhat facetiously suggested that they pick me up from the park-and-ride lot (i.e. where my car is parked).

CJ said "SURE!... we'll see you there in 20 minutes".

And sure enough as the bus pulled in I could see our van in the pick-up area. I got off the bus and CJ jumped out to give me a big hug and kiss and to open the car door for me. Do you realize that since the day we met he has ALWAYS opened and closed the door for me (unless I was too fast for him and did it myself). Now, is he a gentleman or what! and he's handsome to boot!



The cool thing about this is that they will be driving me to the P&R (or to the office) tomorrow morning.

This evening we played with chalk.







And the picture below will be my new sig if I am admitted back into MH.

Thank you

Thank you to the people who I just passed at the coffee shop... the friendly barista who told me he loved my starbucks card because it reminded him of his mother. To the well-off business man who mentioned that he just had a big breakfast so only wanted a coffee this morning. I though it was cool that, when the barista asked if he went to Ihop, his responses was "no, I wish. Yum!". I know he probably went to a 5-star hotel and had a $75 breakfast, but he didn't act all better-than-thou!

Thank you to Sebastian for sleeping until 6:00 am and then cuddling in my arms this morning before I left for work.

Thank you to the bus driver for being 5 minutes late so I didn't miss the bus.

Thank you to CJ for the music you loaded onto my iPod last night. I LOVE the two songs you wrote. I closed my eyes and listened to "espana" over and over again on the bus. I imagined us, sitting at a little table on the beach of Menorca, Spain sharing a bottle of red wine while someone played the guitar in the backgroud. It was fabulous. I love you.

Thank you to all my dear friends at MH. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for keeping in touch. I miss you all so very much. (((HUGS)))

p.s. I am also thankful that I finally figured out what I want to do with my career.... :) It's a secret right now.

I have a splitting headache....

Do you wonder WHY I have a splitting headache? See below.


This is two minutes after I poured the bowl of water on her head... see, she's really okay... no worse for the experience.... and she was asking for it.... honest!

the mullet

themullet
Originally uploaded by karenandcj.

for those of you who wanted a better look :)

the boy

I just realized that Seb may be scarred for life. Whereas most kids have cute little nicknames - take Kenzie for example, she thinks her real name is "Kenzie Boo". If, for example, I call her a "ragamuffin", she will be all indignant and say "I am NOT a ragamuffin, I am KENZIE BOO!"

Sebastian on the other hand is called "the boy".

Yes, CJ and I refer to him as Tugboat once in a while when we are blogging... but in actual day to day conversations I think we call him "the boy" more than anything else.

I can't wait for him to say "I am NOT BASTIAN... I am THE BOY!".

this made me cry

note the title is a link.

You have to read these. I am absolutely in awe of the kindness of people.

Being a parent

Isn't being a parent "interesting". I feel like I am learning more about life these days than I ever have in the past.

When Kenzie came into our lives, I learned what unconditional love really meant. If I knew that Sebastian and Mackenzie were completely happy, and I mean COMPLETELY happy, I would be over the moon. I would want for nothing else. Their happiness is the most important thing in the world to me.

BUT... why then, do they (Kenzie especially) test my patience like it's never been tested before.

I think it's because I sometimes long for the days before I knew what unconditional love was. I admit I sometimes long for the days when life was all about ME! The days when I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.

These days I don't have that freedom. These days I have so little "me" time. I have responsibilities. I am tired, wrinkled and "used". I think in some ways, when I am tired or "sensitive", I resent that lack of freedom. I think that subconsiously I may even resent the kids for that lack of freedom...

For example, today I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I was on the computer and Kenzie wanted me to play... she was pulling at my pant leg and trying to climb on my lap. I snapped "KENZIE, I WANT FIVE MINUTES OF PRIVACY!". She looked at me with a sad look on her face, backed out of the room and closed the door.

Oh my God! Stick a knife in my heart... What did I just say? All she wanted was to be with me and I told her to go away. She didn't choose to come into this world... that was MY DECISION (well, CJ was involved too). I felt like the worst mom in the world.

I was able to make it up to her. I gave her a big hug, told her i loved her and she forgave me. She is so forgiving. No built up resentment. Just sheer forgiveness and happiness that we are together again.

No wonder I have unconditional love for these kids... they are so perfect. So untainted by life. So innocent. So wise. Sometimes i think they should be the parents.

Here are some pictures from today.

Mulletgirl making cookies with her Dad and Ben.


Ben giving Sebastian a hug.


My good friend JL...


Sebastian was soooooo tired. I love when he's so snuggly.

Dear Diary: Sunday Sept 4th

What day is it again... ah yes, Sunday. Sunday of a long weekend. :)

Today started off a bit shakey. I woke up really tired today so I was a bit impatient. Kenzie just senses these things so she pushed all of my buttons... until she was in time out and I was in my room sulking... all this before 9:00 this morning.

I was also really bummed because I had been looking forward to a picnic we had planned for this morning. A bunch of people had said they were going to come but it was really cold and grey this morning. Three families called to cancel before we even left our house. On the way to the park it started sprinkling.. I was so bummed.

But then things started to improve. We got to the park and the weather started to clear. Then Ellen showed up with Katrina... then Kelly came with Corbin and the kids and then Kristy and Andrew came with Jackson. The weather continued to improve and we all had fun visiting the animals, playing hide and seek and kicking around a soccer ball.

Here's the one picture I got before my camera battery died.



Both kids fell asleep on the way home and continued sleeping once we transported them to their beds, which allowed CJ and I to take naps too.

After we woke up, we all went to the mall so I could buy a few gifts. I went into the new Lush store for the first time. OMG I love that place!!! Imagine stacks of bins just full of bath bombs in all sorts of scents and colours. They also had chocolate flavoured lip gloss.... can you imagine? I replenished our stock of Dream Cream which is just a miracle cure for Kenzie's eczema. Kenzie was also treated to a chocolate dipped strawberry from the Godiva store. She ate it in the car on the way home and I was salivating from the smell.

Got home, had baths, jumped on the bed, ate dinner, watched some TV, snuggled, read books and went to bed.

My stinker after his bath.



There is something too adorable about kids in their PJs.



Then my insomnia started up again. Why can't I sleep these days. I think I need to do the Isagenix program again just so I can sleep well.

So that was our day. Tomorrow should be another good one. Jenniferlyn and Ben are coming over in the morning. In the afternoon we may invite folks over for a barbeque.

Life is good.